Will Australia benefit by staying in Iraq? John Howard should learn a lesson from LAOTIAN HMONG hilltribes

…........…. John Dubya Ducklips Howard has highly selective hearing.

John Ducklips Howard’s obvious folly of continuing to be Bush’s main ass-licking buddy is alarmingly paralleled by the ill-fate of the Hmong people from Laos. The Hmong hill-tribes supported the American CIA’s “Secret War” in Laos during the Vietnam War, but now America has betrayed them grievously by turning down their promised refugee status. In this article, FunkyPix2 asks the obvious question: "Why won't the same thing happen to Australia after Bush is dumped, 567 days from now?" Like the Hmong people, Australia is a relatively insignificant player on the international stage, a dispensable country of only 21 million.

The Hmong hill-tribes in the jungles of Laos fought and died for the US Military during the 1970s, based on the promise that they would benefit (either by getting their own Hmong homeland or, if the war were lost, a secure “Plan-B” escape route to the US as refugees with eventual citizenship). The US initially accepted a token few, but soon slammed the gate shut. Thousands are still left stranded in the jungles of Laos, rejected, betrayed by Uncle Sam, and persecuted to this day by the Laotian communist government.

Check out these photos we took in 2006 on Central Laos’s astonishing “Plain of Jars” - some show bomb craters, old trenches, and munitions, now overgrown. The mental scars on many residents, however, have not healed as well. After experiencing the trauma of tip-toeing through a minefield, I can begin to understand why.

The Hmong, who were staunch US allies on Vietnam’s Ho Chi Minh Trail during the Vietnam War have been handed a rough ride by the US. Oi, oi, oi! ..Unfair!

.................................Agent Orange juice, anyone?

Laotian Hmong have well-and-truly earned US citizenship, but have been cruelly ignored now that they are no longer of use to America. Recently, 152 descendants of former fighters had tried to flee to Thailand to escape persecution, but were deported to an unknown fate at the hands of the Laotian communist government.

Given this ongoing tragedy in Laos, John Dubya Ducklips Howard is, as usual, clearly unable [or unwilling] to learn from history. This right wing dinosaur doggedly insists on staying the distance in Iraq, despite warnings from George Dubya Bush’s own Republican Party that America is losing the war badly.


Dubya Howard somehow imagines that by being ‘faithful’ to Dubya Bush, Australia is going to be showered with gifts and benefits in some rosier future. Tell that to the Australian lamb exporters who were shut out of the American market a few years ago by the US Dept of Agriculture. Tell that to Tony Blair, whose only parting request to Bush was to ask for some co-operation on EU Climate change resolutions (as a reward for the UK sending troops to Iraq). Blair was simply ignored - because he didn't matter any more. Some gratitude. Howard should expect no more.

Toni Blair was stood up by Bush the morning after. Mr Blair doesn’t care any more – he’s comfortably retired and in the Pink.

The US only ever acts out of self-interest, and Ducklips Howard is deluded if he imagines otherwise. Australia could very easily find itself side-lined, marginalised and rejected – exactly like the Hmong in Laos.

Moral of the story?..George W. Snake cannot be trusted:

With US foreign policy, what you see is rarely what you get.
(View more weird FunkyPix2 body art here).

PRINCE HARRY has another bad hair day

Henry Charles Windsor (AKA Prince Harry)

It is difficult to believe the Brits could have shot themselves in the foot as disastrously as this. Preparing the turd-in-line to the throne for deployment to Iraq, and then changing their minds… it’s like admitting to the ‘enemy’ (whoever they are) that the Brits are losing the war (which they are). It’s handed them a propaganda victory on a plate.

To commemorate this right royal cock-up, FunkyPix2 presents a short photo-essay describing Harry’s life story. It’s entitled “A Wreck to Iraq”, and it all begins when young Harry was but a young lad… [begin harp music, dissolve and fade, etc]…

Harry was given all the toys he ever wanted. But he felt there was something missing in his life.

Harry wanted to spend his pocket-money cheques at War-Mart where he got all clued up about ideologies of mass slaughter. He discovered with ghoulish delight that the British Government ran a massive weapons manufacturing industry, one of the world's largest. He immediately decided that he, too, wanted to maintain the proud tradition and kill people as an honorable career.

In school plays, he always sought heroic dashing roles…

…and he watched Laurence Olivier with envy. “One day when I'm growed up, I too will travel on a glorious Crusade to the Muddle East”, he swore.

When Bigger Harry finally entered real Soldier School, he was given cushy jobs away from danger. Here he pretends to enjoy guard duty next to the officers’ precious coffee machine. He already sensed something was wrong.

However, his trainers recognised his personal need for hero status and virility in the public eye.

During training, Harry made a few mistakes, just like any rookie. Here he checks the handbook to see what he should have done: “Oh yes, here we are – page 26... Stamping on landmines is an ineffective defusing technique. Not recommended”. Hmm, OK.

Harry’s new family wanted to bundle him off to Iraq as quickly as decently possible.

Harry's housemaid harem - plus some cynical bloggers - suspected that Harry had known all along that he would never be allowed to go to Iraq. This Palace cover-up conveniently freed him up to bluster publically about not being afraid to die in Iraq.

Iraq or bust. He knew in his heart that even a stunt like this wouldn’t work.

But Harry was finally discouraged by this love letter from Moqtada al Sadr, plus a gory photo of the bottom half of the face of his best soldier buddy, slipped quietly under the royal bedchamber door one evening by his team of butlers.

His mates all called him a wuss, but his granny stuck up for him. Harry, unlike a lot of other young Brits who went holidaying in Basra, still has arms and legs… and the ears which Mr Moqtada had kindly offered to remove.

IRAQ Picture Gallery: WARNING: This webpage contains opinions

Paddle faster, George... your karma's catching up with you.

Hey, it was dopey to invade Iraq in the first place against everyone's advice. Occupation is not the same as Liberation. Now George of the Bungle not only wants to turn around and confront the Iraq shark, he's yelling "Iran or bust!"

Iraq, with its back to the wall, is rescued by super-heros George W. Batman and his brave little sidekick Robin W. Howard. In your dreams. Like the above photograph of a pavement artist, Coalition propaganda is about smoke, mirrors and an occasional direct lie. The retreat from Iraq is being propagandized in the media as a "surge" in order to save face.

George hopes to delay the final humiliation as long as he possibly can so that the next US administration can collect the blame - and as much of the cost as possible. Bush recalls 'that' embarrassing photograph of american GIs clambering onto that final helicopter as it lifted off the roof of the defeated american embassy in Saigon.. . ouch. "Never again", I recall reading in the headline back in 1975...

Grains of Salt supplied FREE with each newspaper, courtesy of FunkyPix2.

The Madness of King George. Here's his tax-payer funded mobile throne for his victory lap in 2008. Kim Jong Il wishes HE'D thought of it. If you think this is dumb, have look at the USA's secret weapon invented by Donald Rumsfelt.

Who Bush imagines he is.▲ ... ...and who he really is .▼

...and he's got a plan for victory, but cain't quite pernounce...prununciate... prenoncify... (aw, shucks), he cain't SAY it real good.

And as for the 2008 Presidential election...
Voters in Australia do NOT need to vote according to party preferences.
You can vote for candidates in any order you choose.

This faithful Howard-Ducklips clone-voter always votes exactly how he's told, according to the preference cheat-sheet they hand him at the polling booth.
That way he doesn't have to T-H-I-N-K.

The pissed-off Cat in the Cage is a metaphor for the day when Bush, Blair and Howard may be convicted at the War Crimes Tribunal in the Hague. I hear you laugh and say "It's not possible"... but YES, it is entirely possible. As we speak, precedents about genocide and other war crimes are being set. The only reason america is currently quarantined is because Bush has quarantined it - by simply asserting that the USA and its military do not recognise the International Court. That's how he's getting away with Guantanamo... but his false facade and bravado is merely chest-thumping and legally quite fragile.

It's all part of the bullying arrogance of the 600-lb gorilla that makes the world dislike Coalition members... and will eventually bring them to their knees - and to justice. Being full of your own self-importance will never make crime OK, and there are a lotta people out there with justified axes to grind.

The International Court sentences George Wilful Bush to hang for the murder of...
(psst! HOW many people did you just say?).

Where's Harmonica Lewinsky when she's really needed?

Coalition of the Swimming.
(Guess which one is John Dubya Ducklips Howard)

Australians have a word for people who slavishly follow close behind their boss in order to obtain personal reward.

The rats will have to desert the sinking pier soon enough anyway. Why not do it SOON and save many lives? Surely australia's catholic-cult extremist Tony "The Pope" Abbott would have to agree that ¯Every Sperm is Sacred¯ Are sperms somehow LESS sacred (and MORE dispensible) once they develop into adult human beings? Let's see you wriggle out of that one, young Tone.

Australia's reason for going to war... and for staying there?

Speaking of cemeteries and exits, if you'd like to read more of my blogs on the American Oil War (the one the american media chooses to call the IRAQ war), click on any of the following links (each of which opens in its own window):

Bowing out like Beckham, Bush and Blair.

3+1=2: Adding MORE creates LESS. Bush’s arithmetic on the IRAQ withdrawal simply doesn’t add up.

War is too serious a matter to be left to mere military men.

Give up surfing, Bush. Time to head for the beach, pal.

It’s IRAQ, stupid…

Many more related links are located under the heading “Browse by Category” in the right-hand column of your screen. In an idle moment, why not check out all of america's other fun wars?