Thailand is jealous of Burma's nuclear power: Let them eat Yellowcake

Disposing of nuclear waste? No problem, the monk-on-duty
with the 'glow-in-the-dark' orange jump-suit will take care of it.

A nuclear-powered Thailand? Yep, it's back in the news. But it's sure to be safe if the Reactor is built next to a Buddhist Temple or, even better still, near a 'good luck' Amulet factory.

I expect bamboo scaffolding during the building process. And a fleet of barefoot cops on scooters as a Tsunami-like warning system in the event of a nuclear accident.

I do really love Thailand - honest - but hardly because of Thais' rigorous attention to workplace standards. Thai expertise in matters electrical, for instance, is at best dubious. Most "electricians" have zero idea of how to ground [earth] a circuit, a safety standard universally assumed in the west. I think that before attempting to build a nuclear power station, Thailand might first consider working out how to build a half-decent footpath.

Good cop, bad cop, sharing a scooter. The officer driving should fine his passenger
200 baht for not wearing a helmet. Also note the excuse for a 'footpath' (outside a Wat).

Then there's the issue of corruption and kickbacks. Sub-standard concrete, thin or missing reinforcement [etc] is the norm here as the brother-in-law's suppliers pocket their tea-money. To save cost and make up for having to pay bribes, walls made of bricks only 2" wide are frequently built without any internal reinforcement [see pic at left]. This is the happy-go-lucky land of mai-bpen-rai, and even though foreign nuclear contractors themselves may be rigorous in their own internal quality control, would they be able deal with the deep rooted systemic graft and concealment that exists here at all levels? Even renovating our apartment revealed to us the cut-throat commissions demanded for contracts ...and all with the blessing of the condo management. Outcome? It was us who ended up paying - grrrr - up to 20% extra on occasion... to people who did none of the work!

Getting nuclear power is also about keeping up with the Jonses. Thailand doesn't want to be caught in a position where it might be seen to lose face in the event that its arch rival Burma announces its own Nuclear Reactor. Am I kidding? No, unfortunately. Burma has been promised a smallish reactor by Russia, and has also reputedly had contact with North Korean technologists. Burma has been told by ASEAN that it would be kicked out if it got nuclear power, but the Burmese generals, generously bankrolled as they are by China, really couldn't give a toss. In fact, it would conveniently reduce pressure on them to tow the line with all that pesky Democracy stuff. And with fugitive Thaksin now an employee of Cambodia, I'm expecting a competitive tender from Phnom Penh at any minute.

There is a protest movement against the nuclear push here, but it is routinely belittled by the Puuyai ('big guys'] who control the media. The immediate assumption is that these silly protesters are getting in the way of Thailand's progress. My immediate comment - moving forwards is not necessarily a good idea when you're standing on the edge of a cliff. But what intrigues me is the relative low media profile of the nuclear issue in the eyes of the Thai public. Truth is that few Thais read newspapers, and many are painfully slow at reading at all. Reading isn't big in Thailand - except maybe comics. And Thai radio tends to be populist and lightweight, especially up here in the rural north. For many folks, it is more important to score the next 20 baht for a meal than waste time on remote issues involving rich people:

But to put things in perspective, here's an interesting time-line which aligns the recurring nuclear issue with the history of coups in Thai politics:

Don't you just love the tsunami image?

Obama vs Osama: the final round

 A new rising CEO on Wall Street forecasts Green Shoots:
"Just call me Al. Hey buddy, would you like a bit of - you know - poppy?
It might help you to remember all those innocent Afghani citizens."

Obama claimed that the war in Afghanistan was to "disrupt, dismantle and defeat" Al Quaeda. Well, that's been achieved already - they're not there anymore. So why not simply declare victory and bring the troops home?

Reducing the war effort might afford the opportunity to adapt infrastructure
towards more profitable ventures - so Americans can get decent health care.
Hmm... imagine this golf-hotel parked off Tokyo...BIG $$

Repeat: Al Quaeda isn't in Afghanistan any more - they've moved to Pakistan. So yet again the U Ass of A is fighting its war in the wrong country:

Time is running out and the war is spiralling out of control for Bush's ill-judged occupation of Afghanistan. Why do leaders in the West take so LONG to admit that there's an elephant in the room? Surely Obama and Brown recognize the reasons for the long history of military failures in Afghanistan.

There's a middle-eastern proverb: "It's me and my brother against my cousin... but it's me and my cousin against a foreigner". If Obama sends another 40,000 troops it will merely serve to further unite all Afghans against the West. Then when the West finally retreats due to sheer attrition and exhausted military budgets, a new generation of Afghan warlords will resume their traditional feuding. Attempting to fight that is like trying to herd cats: power structures have always been like that in Afghanistan. Afghans will never swallow democracy as we want to imagine it. Imposing one's own cultural practices and ideas onto someone else's country is known as Colonisation.
Mr Obama, please do the moral thing... and very soon.

Historians will write that the decision by Obama whether or not to send the extra 40,000 troops represented a pivotal point in the history of the American Empire, both financially and psychologically. For a start, the more ducks you parade in a shooting gallery, the more hits there are likely to be. Besides, sending any troops would sure make a mockery of his shiny new Nobel Peace Prize.

This isn't a war about military superiority, it's a war about attrition, and as predicted, that is already proving to be America's Achilles Heel. War doesn't determine who is right; war determines who is left. Bin Laden would be absolutely delighted if Obama sent more ducks-in-uniform and wasted even more of America's dwindling war chest in the process. Indeed, Afghanistan is becoming a highly successful decoy, distracting attention from the main event - Pakistan's vulnerable nuclear fuel.

As a world citizen, it would be less than responsible to unilaterally support either Obama OR Osama. As my blog is published on the Internet, a medium which is still largely Euro-centric, I'd like to redress the inevitable cultural imbalance a little by doing a brief flashback to an article I wrote back during the 2007 Australian election. It attempts to observe  the West through a less western prism by historically comparing Osama bin Laden with Jesus (this link will open in a new window for your convenience).

Here are some more photos which should be self-explanatory:

America's Secret New Weapon in Afghanistan

Concept by Alan Kayder Defence Corporation. Production by Haliburton (China)

I listened to some American financial news on CNN today.
Objectively, this is how I heard it:

"...and heerr is the nooze owda Wahl Street. Frahm Oss-trell-ya to Iddly eern Japeern, stahk mahrr-kets arre in a staid of shark eerfta the gumment released the laydess Consooma Cahnfidence fig-you-rz showing a toadally ah-sum thirdy-fahve perr sayant drahp in a single twenny-fourr hourr perriod. A Wide House spokesperrson cahmended thayat the cars was doo to a brudle prahpageernda baddle being fart on the Innernet bah cerdain eerndi-Cabidalist eerndi-Amerrkin Errubic parrdeez in Eye-rack, Pekisteern eernd Eerfghanisteern. Nahd even doo-ring the Bush Error wz therre everr search a meersive single fahl, despite that sayad tahm when Prsdnt Bush eercidentally ahdud Naydo to balm Noo Yark siddy. Sharp-keepers from Et-lenna to Bwahston ahl say thayat sales have plummedded: "Oh my guard, it's ebsolutely sharking... Folks ain't harrdly bart nuthin' today - it's a hawrrible prahblem frurse, eern ahm real whirried", cahmplained a worrkerr in a Florrrda drerg-storre. "Obeerma godda chayanj Amerrkin for-rn pahlsee, eernd also repayerr the Feral Social Securiddy lahs so we cayan ahl hayav serm prahsperridy ayat layast. Whaa, even impahverished Asian coundries like Thai-layan arre ahbviously bedder ahf thayan erse. We jess cain't kerry ahn!"

Dear Diary: the Ubud Writers Festival was great, but gee it's good to be home

 Near our apartment is the Washy Mashy Laundromat.  Now that the owners have
a brand new electric washy mashy, they no longer need to wash by hand.

Returning to Chiangmai is a pleasure every time. Bali was fine, but Chiangmai with its multi-faceted life and cultures, is Home.

Marie is all geared up from the Ubud festival... stories streaming out of all her pores... and I've launched recklessly into a re-write of my latest composition... see the side-bar >>

Click here to get our goss and photos on the Ubud Writers and Readers Festival in Bali (this link will open in a new window for your convenience ...when finished, just close it and you'll be right back here).

Meanwhile, back on the ranch, Marie's former study has received a facelift:

 So where is her study now, I hear you ask? Check it out.

 Contrary to rumour, we're NOT having problems with the new computer... OK?

From the 14th floor, we look down on a new 8-storey residential building (Chiangmai Lodge) which has a cute little Sala on top. Recently the Sala acquired coloured floodlights and I thought my worst fears were going to materialize ...it was turning into a bar or nightclub (eek). But no, thank Buddha; silence reigns :-) ...so far.

However, there are some people in Chiangmai I really do wish would be silent - Christian missionaries. Their basic subversive agenda of Conversion hasn't changed since this photo was taken:

...but these days they're having to be much sneakier due to their growing unpopularity. In the photo below, for instance, is Chiangmai's "Hilltribe Handicraft Training Center" (note the American spelling). Nary a steeple nor cross in sight, but hey, don't be fooled. And how very patronizing is it to assume that the local Hilltribes need training in their own culture!! We regularly see dour extremist Christians in floor-length grey pinafores and prim bonnets in charge of very young Hilltribe children. The going price per child in the US is about $30,000. Hmm, the word "pretext" comes to mind...

(Notice the Devil's tail poking up in the foreground)

And to vandalize Thailand's Buddhist culture without thought to the consequences is shameful. The very fabric of Thailand's society is woven from the delicate silk threads of Buddhist philosophy. Unravel those threads, and there will be serious social distortions, even if you've been indoctrinated to believe that you're replacing their System with something that's culturally superior. Now that would be arrogant and eurocentric in the extreme... yes/no? Maybe the hardest but most helpful and caring thing that Christian missionaries could ever do would be to leave Thai solutions to Thai people and rack off back to Texas. Evangelizing in someone else's home is also known as neo-Colonial exploitation. Better to acknowledge the mistakes of History.

 

 Thai Buddhism's artifice and ritual is visually boggling, matching any of the glitz, smoke and mirrors of High Anglicanism, Catholicism, or even Capitalism. On our travels around Chiangmai we saw this white Wat - which is, as it turns out, was much of a tourist-oriented commercial establishment as a real Wat.

But Yea, to be fair, where in any Christian doctrine is there any admonition against alcohol to match this ?

Anywhere else, the whisky bottle would have already been stolen.

Assisting the multi-headed Naga serpent to protect the Buddha.

Stairway leading up to the Chang Dao cave entrance

Marie at the Sri Satchanali ruins, near the 700 year-old old capital Sukhothai.

Limestone formations on the ceiling of the Chang Dao caves.

An abandoned building not far from our condo. Horned Greek satyrs 
dance around the satellite dish. Plato might have approved, methinks.

Yes, the Cult thrives. Daily we must drink the Blood and
eat the Body of our Lord Panda. This is Her Will.
Grease be with you. Abears.

And for all you Foodies, some refreshing new menu items spotted recently around North Thailand and Bali:

...... Fish Dancing with Free-Water

...... Corn Flex with milk

...... Fish's offal salad

...... Salt-Crap Lon

The best 2 of these have been added to my tasty Asian Menus collection, gathered over many years of travel through Asia. The list can be viewed here and will open conveniently in a new window for you. I always record such delicious-sounding menu items exactly as found, with all capitals and punctuation. Sadly, spelling errors are increasingly rare as restaurants all seem to have Spellcheckers these days.
Damn - an era is passing.

---

Here in Thailand, it's time yet again for the Loy Kratong festival  with its banana-leaf candle-boats ("kratongs") crowding the rivers, and picturesque hot-air lanterns filling the sky. But, of course, the glossy tourist brochures don't tell you about the injuries from firecrackers. If you're squeamish, I strongly advise NOT clicking here.

I can only agree. I can't resist peeking through forbidden keyholes either. Shame that computers don't have a key marked "UnSee".

Dear Diary: a summary of our 2009 so far

It's been a frantic-crazy yo-yo year for us. Here's a series of links to show different activities (in case you missed any :-) followed by a few miscellaneous photos of more recent pranks...
Each link will open in a new window for your convenience:

1. In January we participated in the Galle Literary Festival in Sri Lanka.
Very good experience indeed. It's a pity that the festival may now be subverted as a propaganda weapon by the bullish Rajapakse government. If so, we may not attend in 2010, and go to the Jaipur Literary Festival instead.

2. Tour of Laos in late January.
Went with Nicolette. The Thong Lor cave was the highlight. Vangvieng wasn't.

3. Spent a horrible month in Adelaide, Australia.
This was on account of the death of Marie's father and subsequent sabotaged attempts to tidy up family matters. After that stressful debacle, we rooly needed a break [see 4].

4. Spent 10 days in February in Malaysia, particularly at Perhentian Island off the coast of north-eastern Malaysia.
Didn't go fishing, but hey, you should see what Marie caught.

5. With our strict chaperones Alan and Brenton we drove around exploring to the south-east of Chiangmai, particularly Phrae, Nan, and Pua near the Laotian border.
Discovered hidden weaving treasures in remote villages - but not a single tiramasu.

6. Similarly, we toured the charismatic 700 year-old ruined city of Sukhothai to the south-west of Chiangmai.
We showed the locals the steps to "I'm a Little Teapot". Cultural exchange, you understand.

7. Now we've begun another apartment renovation. Yes, it's the awful truth - a small room next door to our present apartment.
And no, we don't suffer from insanity. We enjoy every minute of it Bwaa ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha *Latest photos uploaded on 07 August 2009.

8. All the while I've continued to self-publish various pieces of my “classical” music on the web.
There are (downloadable) mp3 recordings on the MySpace Music website, plus scores in pdf format - so you can listen and also follow the dots if you choose.

---

The new-born panda at Chiangmai zoo has triggered cult-status pandemonium in the region. Huge billboards shouting Hello Little Panda have popped up everywhere, along with a nation-wide naming competition. Little Panda has become the new Hello Kitty. (Only Buddha knows what might happen to the Kingdom of Thailand if the tiny varmint suddenly upped and died.) In the pic below, Little Panda has been cheekily elevated to a prime spot next to a shrine to the Thai King, no less! (the intersection of Nimmanhaemin and Huaykeaw Roads):

Only in Thailand ! (see more Panda fun here.)

Marie and I are considering kick-starting a counter-cult:

Hello Little Crocodile!

Over the past few weeks the atmosphere has been uncommonly clear (the burning of the rice paddies has ceased due to the monsoon season). So for the first time ever, we've been able to see the mountain called Chang Dao to our north. This was the view of the mountain's dramatic profile from our apartment balcony yesterday.

Taking advantage of the even-fabulouser-than-normal weather, we took a car trip to the town of Pai, north-west of Xiengmai. En route, we had to overtake this Buddhist coffin(?):

Pai (pronounced as "buy") has concentrated on Tourism in the same manner as Vang Vieng in Laos, and suffers the same sorts of crass cultural pitfalls as a result. Like all of Thailand at the moment, it only has 20% of the usual numbers of tourists: you can see from this photo just how not-busy the main street is:

Much accommodation in Pai is of the hole-in-the-wall variety, but there are more "resorts" there now too (if in name only, in some instances). In the pic below, the rickety bamboo bridge affords access to the tourist kennels on the other side of the river (in which, apparently, you can go Brown-Water Rafting:

Dear Diary: Adelaide's water supply.Hardly a drop to drink.

The River Murray near Goolwa. I used to row boats
and swim off these jetties as a child in the sixties.
A bloke doesn't have to be a rocket scientist to pick up on the deep mood of despondancy and fear in South Australia. People obviously sense that there are looming threats to their well-being, but can't quite come to grips with the enormity of it all. It's too hard and scary, so they carry on as if everything is normal. But no, everything isn't normal.

Being an outsider looking in is an advantage in seeing things as they really are. Adelaide is clearly unsustainable due to lack of water. Unsustainable. Unless there's substantial winter rain this year, Adel-vegas does not have a guaranteed water supply for next year. The 'authorities' won't be able to solve the problem by simply buying a few more hundred gigalitres because there isn't any left to buy. What there was has been bought up already.

At last there are a few rare voices dismissing the dreaded "D" word - drought. Mr Hanrahan should (long ago)have been the first to work out that shortage of rain is in fact the normal condition of Southern Australian weather. Always has been. Periods of consistent good rain, in fact, are the exception to the norm. Climate Change is merely an induced intensification. Perhaps all this that isn't what people, in their eternal colonial optimism, want to believe... nobody enjoys words like 'crisis'.

People have adequate evidence of the water crisis via the media, but due to habitual patterns of thinking and behaviour, somehow imagine that life will somehow continue like it always has. Here's a front page of the main newspaper which appeared while we were in Adelaide recently:

Priorities are evident: Football and Soapies 1, Essential Infrastructure 0.
Indeed, South Australian Thought Habits militate against noticing the Elephant in the Room. But when they're down to their last bucket, folks will have to leave, as thousands of younger people already have, leaving behind a geriatric population. Property prices will therefore probably perform the dead-cat-bounce even more than the US-led mortgage crisis is suggesting. This is despite the government's $14,000 first-home buyer's grant, a deceptive and purely politically opportunistic short-term stunt, akin to an injection of psychlogical steroids. Simple arithmetic cries out loud that $14,000 is a miniscule sum of money compared to total mortgage repayment (principle + interest) over a 20 year period. Bank Bait for unwary innocent Youth.

But Adelaideians still get up in the morning and routinely water their lawns, councils still prioritize gentrifying the pavements and parks... and it's all a self-deceiving superficial veneer. It's a self-sabotaging "feel-good" form of lifestyle window-dressing which gobbles financial and physical resources that would be better channeled towards urgent red-alert survival strategies. Gee wiz, if you can have nice cars like this, the country must be thriving, mate:

But it's all about Projection, Wishes, Imagined Realities, Avoidance. You see it in people's expressionless gaze, unexplained outbursts of anger and frustration, "me-first" attitudes in shops, and especially in Road Rage and speeding. South Australia is not a happy place.

Moral of the story? Advice to habitual Adelaideians? Sell up now, or sooner. Grab some bottled water and consider the merits of becoming a bona fide climate refugee to anywhere else where there's adequate water - pronto. It might just be 5 minutes to midnight already. Your English forbears settled the wrong end of Austraya.

Lots of love

Two relieved refugees to Thailand X X X

P.S: all of my blog posts on environment can be found under "Browse by Category" in the side-bar8 of your screen. Click on the "Environment" link.

As therapy for the trip, we went here.

Photos from the Galle Literary Festival 2009, in sunny Sri Lanka

What a magic venue to hold a literary festival! First I'll whizz you around on a whirlwind tour of the 17th century Dutch fort to give you a feel for the location. Location matters.

First, the lighthouse and mosque on the southern tip:

...and again, but viewed from the centre of the fort:

Typical Fort streetscapes - with the ubiquitous Bajaj tuk-tuk:

...and old fortified ramparts dating from colonial times:

...but minus cannon emplacements. Note the Bajaj tuk-tuk with surfboard:

Goats wander at will, and a bullock snoozes next to its cart:

Locals go about their fishy business. Galle is nothing if not a fishing town, and a place where old TATA buses go to die:

Kandyan dancers seemed to pop up everywhere we went...

...as did the ubiquitous feral cows, scavenging food scraps from bins and drains:

Our festival activities began with a recreational tour of tiny Taprobane Island, now owned by the festival organiser. It has been the haunt of past writers and luminaries, viz, Paul Bowles, Robin Maugham, Arthur C. Clarke [..."where I escaped the tyranny of the typewriter"], Gore Vidal, and latterly graced by no less than Marie Burrows:

We waded accross at low tide, blissfully unaware that we would later have to return when the water was waist-deep. Tricked... but OK cool ;-) ...no 18-foot tsunamis today. As we entered the house, Marie and I had an extremely weird feeling of deja vu... the design and dimensions, if not the material, was nearly identical with our former octagonal house in North Queensland, but Taprobane was an island, not perched on the summit of a mountain. Another minor difference was that Taprobane Island can be rented for eleven hundred pounds per night. Yup folks, that's 1,100 British quid per night, minimum 3 weeks... oh well, heck, there is a pool...

The first function was the official Festival opening, held at the humble birthplace [photo below] of the venerated late Srilankan writer/scholar Martin Wickramasinge, south of Galle at Koggala:

This was followed by a nosh-up at a massive hotel/resort aptly named 'The Fortress', allegedly built by a well-connected Srilankan politician with an unaccountably huge amount of cash to fling around. Say no more, nudge nudge... or else. There is a palpable atmosphere of politically-generated fear in Srilanka, and non-conforming journalists are at risk of their lives. President Rajapakse's cronies offer policy concerning the LTTE as a "with-us-or-against-us" thing, Weapons of Press Distortion, copy-catted from Amerkin-style poltix, viz:

Then on day 2 began a feast of events which left us literally breathless and stimulated. In the photo below, Marie heads off to lunch after listening to travel-writer Colin Thubron recounting anecdotes of his travels along the Silk Road:

Through this main gate of the Galle Fort are the district legal offices and Courts. Marie could observe the environment in which her great-grandfather, a respected (and feared) Srilankan KC from Colombo, might well have visited. The Great Family Tradition survives in diasporic reincarnation - Marie's sister Catherine has also attained dizzying heights in the Silk trade in outback Orstraya.

(Hmm, in fact, I might hire Catherine to protect us from unwelcome attention from goats begging for food at Hikkaduwa station, en route from Galle to Colombo.)

I have no idea why this goat had "DONATED TO OXFAM" branded on its rump:

Here's the sleepy Galle Magistrates Court, in a dusty lane just inside the gate:

It is ironic in the extreme that we, as Australians with Queen Elizabeth still anachronistically lodged as Head-of-State, have to visit a long independent ex-British colony to hear English spoken as it oughta. The likes of Pico Iyer and M. J. Akbar are politically astute thinkers, both incredidbly articulate with incisive wits. As a humble photo-blogger, I was in awe.

Here's Marie at a workshop, sitting between balding photo-bloggers:

Germaine Greer spoke about writing taboos, sex, and censorship. During this speech she claimed that older men were more media-visible and accepted than older women. She commented that whiskery old men with dodgy prostates are perceived as cuddly and cute. (I confess, I felt a momentary impulse to ask a parallel question about about wizened old post-hysterectomy women... but the urge receded, conveniently). I was sitting next to Thomas Keneally at the time, and Germaine seemed to glare accusingly at us both... eek. Germaine specifically cited the plight of Australia's Aboriginal men as one subject that is taboo in Australian public debate.

A standing ovation for Germaine Greer

After the session, Germaine and Thomas hugged and both shed tears of rage and compassion for Aboriginal Australians. It also happened to be Germaine's 70th birthday... but she didn't seem particularly invisible:

A more humorous, if considerably more prosaic facet of the Srilankan literary tradition can be observed in my photo of a geriatric glue-pot in the Galle post-office. Couldn't resist photographing the generations of stamp perforations, assorted paper fragments, papr-clips, and even biros embedded like flies frozen in amber. Also check out the classy cardboard desk protector:

Inspired, we brought home a metre-high pile of books from the GLF Bookshop, but expertly spread the weight so there were no excess baggage charges. More luck than magic - it pays to arrive late to check-in: airline staff are in a hurry:

For confirmed GLF junkies, there are more photos and atrocities here .

Touring LAOS: Khong Lor is better than Luangprabang, Vientiane or Vangvieng

After a day's energetic caving and canoeing, Marie pigs out.
It's back to Show-and-Tell diary confession mode again. We've just returned from 12 daze in LAOS, which were, well, OK ...sort of. "Did" Vientiane, Luangprabang, Vangvieng ...and Tam Lot Khong Lor, the highlight.

Never heard of Tam Lot Khong Lor? It's a fantastic river cave, 7 kilometres long flowing darkly under a mountain from one side clear through to the other. Spectacular. If you appreciate Things Natural, make sure you get your body there before you die, but don't forget to take powerful torches and shoes suitable for stony riverbeds. There be dragons.

In the next pic, we emerge blinking into daylight at the far end of the cave after an hour of travel by motorized long-tail canoe:

Getting to the cave is not as difficult as it used to be, as there are now sealed roads more or less) all the way to the village of Ban Nahin, 5 hours east of Vientiane. That's probably because investors can see that the Khong Lor cave is one of the as-yet-unexploited tourist drawcards of Laos, and are sinking money into it hand over fist (shame, really). Some small-scale 'resorts' are appearing, such as Sala Hin Boun, and they all offer canoe tours of the Nam Song river and its exceptional cave.

We were told by the Lao canoeist that French archaeologists had recently installed the electric wiring to the cathedral-like limestone cavern. (I rather suspect that the Lao translation of 'archaeologist' = 'investor').

The surrounding limestone 'karst' mountains are pure Martian in their jagged black unreality. Ridiculous! Mountains and rocks don't usually behave like this:

On the other hand, if Nature just isn't your Thing, hop on a minibus to Vanvieng for karaoke, steakburgers and BeerLao. Join the hordes of prat-packers (especially young-ish Austrayans on long leashes) who delight in the Bachanalian excesses that Laos affords them. Vangvieng is fast becoming the new Bali, where you can laze around all day/night and watch re-run episodes of Friends, Home & Away, or Transporter3. Hey, why bother leaving home??

Vangvieng is wall-to-wall bars. Fairylights + music = instant bar. Even when tourists go tubing on rented inner-tubes down the rivers, they discover numerous riverside bars on the way. Thus they arrive pissed as newts when they finally stagger towards the "Give Pizza a Chance" restaurants at dusk. Ganja and/or magic mushroom shakes are also available for the asking... It seems to be a badge of honour to buy something at every bar, and to remember (in unnecessarily loud voices) which cocktail you bought at each one.

After dark, wobble around Vangvieng's main street in bare-chested gangs, swigging ostentatiously from bottles of BeerLao, bragging about your tubing feats and displaying your fake tatts. And - of course - your newly-attached braided hair. "Conversation" is hardly about intelligent content, but mostly about establishing social pecking-order between friends.

.................... Er, which country are we in??

Do try Lao coffee, at least once, I dare you. It's a remarkable facsimile of Crude Oil. Other local menu delights included:

......... Urine Horse Egg wit a condiments ginger
......... Beer ice-cream
......... Currywurst
......... Yogurt, fruit and muslim
......... Clup sandwich
......... Fired edds

For a vast collection of even weirder Asian menu items, visit my celebrated
Asian Menu Blooper List It has been assembled over many years, accompanied by frequent bouts of helpless giggling... and puzzled waiters.

This link will open in a new window so you can easily click out and get back here to FunkyPix2.

Spot the Hammer and Sickle flag cowering among the Capitalist accoutrements
There's so much frenetic building development in parts of Vangvieng that in some places you can no longer see the views of the mountains. Free Enterprise gone mad. Ironic for a Socialist/Communist country which still flies the Hammer and Sickle flag on government buildings. At least they had the good sense to ban McDonalds and Starbucks etc.

Views, you ask? Sure, there is delightful scenery around Vangvieng if you can tear yourself away from gastronomy:

We escaped Vangvieng via a ghastly 7.5 hour white-knuckle "VIP" bus ride to Luangprabang, the former French "hill-station". Beware - Luangprabang's changing for the worse: opium and ganja are now surreptitiously but frequently offered on the street by Lao tuk-tuk drivers. There is more cheating on bus fares/tours etc, and accomodation/food has become quite expensive by comparison to home in Chiangmai.

Check out all the electricity being used in the main restaurant/shopping street these days. Back in December 2006, there was only a tiny handful of lights. I note there are still no public street-lights: the government knows it can rely on the private sector to get on with the job. In this recent pic, Nicolette doesn't even need a torch:

Oh, and ah yes, Vientiane. A fine place to spend a night in order to break a trip to somewhere else. Here are some requisite photos of the Pratuxai, the Laotian competitor to Paris' Arc de Triomphe:

This was built by the Lao authorities using concrete supplied
by the CIA and intended for a new military runway.

Nic felt too tired to climb to the top. Shame - here's some of what she missed... the stairs up to the uppermost turret:

Loved the frequent examples of Chinglish:

Welcome to our newly gust house open with fully services waiting for tourist with sincerely. Relax with us you, will realize the luxurious and comfortable, you will be impressive and great.

You can enjoy the cool beerlao and delicious of Lao with the spectacular of Mekong river.

Vientiane - city never totally damaged from the frame. Vientiane was abandoned and remained as a small hill of the wild dog's excrements. What was the small hill of the wild dog's excrements looked like? No one can describe about it. Even though, we close or open our eyes, we can see only the dark, we can not imagine what it is looked like.

Could you imagine how pleasures are, sitting under a rainforest tree, watching elephant among the beauty nature of Laos. You will see the real elephant living. Feeding to the elephant with your own hand...

The offer to train as an elephant mahout was almost too much for Nic to resist, particularly after she read the following in a tourist info sheet:

Mahout is elephant whisperer. Whenever become mahout means married with elephant. Share of living, working, grief and glad. Once of lifetime for joy of life. Be mahout and Died would be glory of life.

...and the parting word: the Lao airlines announcement after landing back in Chiangmai:

We wish you enjoy your fright to Chiangmai

where the loca time is 2 past 15 pm's.

There are many more pix - and movies - of the trip on Nic's blog here.

George Dubya Bush's new career: shoe salesman

After being targeted by thousands of shoes during his retirement, George Bush has finally discovered his true niche - going into business disguised as a holy Hindu Sadhu.

Truth be known, it was a well-aimed stiletto heel striking him smack between the eyes which made him realise the error of his dubm ways. Instead of faking it as an illiterate mouthpiece president, he has now collected enough stock to sell shoes through a globalized shoe-vending machine empire. Ain't Capitalism great? He wuz right!

I'm already getting impatient for Congress's anticipated Shoe Bailout

Ironically, business has never looked better for the manufacturer of the shoes which were thrown at Bush. That shoe was called the "Ducati Model 271", since cunningly re-named the "Bush Shoe".

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Spot the Difference in the photo below.
After Bush, the American eagle has changed forever:

Do you harbour a secret desire to throw a variety of OTHER objects at Bush as well as shoes? You simply HAVE to see this video (opens in a new window). Go on - you know you want to.

And please do have a shot at the Sock and Awe game currently being played by millions. Arr, it's so cathartic. I wish you good aim and a high score, FunkyPixers.

Heads you win, Tails I lose: Moore on the Financial Crisis

Beware. American car makers are not what they seem to be. Nothing is what it seems to be.

The world is trapped in an end-game financial meltdown, a suffocating glass box from which there is no obvious escape route. But in truth it is a glass box of the world's own making. We could have avoided it if FunkyPix2's liberal advice over many years had been followed (eg, here, here , or here). Instead, the Rich continue to devise ways by which to get even richer, always at the expense of the Poor. No better example could be found than the recent decision not to bail out the US car-makers.

Michael Moore is right on the money (pun intended) in his latest newsletter where he slams the recent rejection of the US rescue package for the car makers. Moore is sometimes regarded by right-wingers as an over-zealous liberal leftie, so I'm sometimes hesitant to be seen as a mouthpiece for him. However, this time he could not have put it more succinctly when he wrote:

They could have given the loan on the condition that the automakers start building only cars and mass transit that reduce our dependency on oil.

They could have given the loan on the condition that the automakers build cars that reduce global warming.

They could have given the loan on the condition that the automakers withdraw their many lawsuits against state governments in their attempts to not comply with our environmental laws.

They could have given the loan on the condition that the management team which drove these once-great manufacturers into the ground resign and be replaced with a team who understands the transportation needs of the 21st century.

Yes, they could have given the loan for any of these reasons because, in the end, to lose our manufacturing infrastructure and throw 3 million people out of work would be a catastrophe.

But instead, the Senate said, we'll give you the loan only if the factory workers take a $20 an hour cut in wages, pension and health care. That's right. After giving BILLIONS to Wall Street hucksters and criminal investment bankers -- billions with no strings attached and, as we have since learned, no oversight whatsoever -- the Senate decided it is more important to break a union, more important to throw middle class wage earners into the ranks of the working poor than to prevent the total collapse of industrial America.

................ An impoverished CEO does it tough on Main St.

The recent riots in Greece are symptomatic of the public's view of the way wealthy elites are screwing the world. Make no mistake, the death of the 15 year-old boy in Athens was merely the trigger for the riots. The real cause was a much deeper disaffection with imbalances in society... and unless these unfairnesses are soon sorted out more equitably, trouble will certainly spread further afield, and crime rates will soar. People without jobs still have to eat, as they already know in Zimbabwe. The wealthy corporate Status Quo will scornfully label it "Revolution" and call out the riot squad and the media (which they control). And they will get away with it again and again unless ordinary people lose their apathy:

Unless everyday people like you, me, and Dilbert take a principled stand against Globalisation, nothing will improve. To rich people, the profit motive and immediate gratification override everything else. Laboratory rats, given a choice between nutritious food or white sugar, will persist in eating the white sugar until they die of malnutrition.

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With all this in mind, let FunkyPix2 cynically offer some novel car-making ideas to the Big Three...

If you're seeking to stimulate new markets, why not colonize oceans?
After all, water covers 2/3 of the world's surface,
so cooling the engine will no longer be a big deal.

...and likewise outer space. No need to worry about CO2 emmissions
as space is full of the stuff anyway.
Aw heck, if all else fails, resort to pure sex-appeal to boost slumping sales.
Here's my prototype for the new Ford SXE:

See another FunkyPix2 photo gallery of truly quirky vehicles here (opens in a new window).

"The Australian" runs a blatantly racist headline

Housam El-Afchal and wife Alison on ATM blast charge

Is this headline RACIST? ...or is it just plain RACIST?

When would you ever expect to see a headline like THIS:

Henry E. Williams and wife Alison on ATM blast charge

Why not simply write "Couple charged with ATM blast"? As far as I can tell from search engines, "The Australian" is the only newspaper which chose to include these persons' names in their headline.

Read the "Australian" article here (opens in a new window).

I'm annoyed. Journalism like this either represents deliberate complicity with the government's anti-Muslim fear campaigns, or sheer naivety. The media should be actively disengaging themselves from such racist subtexts. Australia's minority groups deserve better.

All the more reason for you to sign this petition from getup.org.au

http://www.getup.org.au/campaign/YourRights?dc=596,288242,1

"Happy Kwanzaa": FunkyPix2's annual "Let's debunk Christmas" heresy

The real reason why Bangkok's airport recently closed down.

Happy Kwanzaa, folks! Kwanzaa is an African harvest holiday which happens to coincide with Xmas. With Berreck Obamma's star rising, Kwanzaa could (with any luck) become more politically correct than Christ-bloody-mess. Except that even our Berreck is urging everyone to spend spend spend to get out of the Depression. It's a capitalist plot, I tell ya.

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What was the REAL date of Xmas Day? .... It was probably 17 April, 5 BC, the date of an occultation of Jupiter by the moon, an event which would certainly have held huge astrological significance for the 3 superstitious Magi on their flea-ridden camels. Traditionally, Jupiter was the planet associated with the Zeus, the big boss-cocky among the Greek gods. Jupiter therefore played a key role in horoscopes, portents, and prophecies concerning the birth of kings. On the 17 April of 5 BC, Jupiter was precisely in the east (as the bible accurately says), then freaked out the Magi by vanishing behind the moon.
PS: That's why so many people celebrated Jesus H. Christ's 2000th birthday on 17 April 1995, the real Millenium year. Bet you missed the party.

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And how about all that Virgin Birth stuff? Yes, an egg CAN begin dividing spontaneously... in bees and aphis, for example. The highest organism in which parthenogenesis can successfully create a male offspring is... wait for it... the turkey(!) Parthenogenesis can very occasionally happen with humans too, but the foetus cannot develop (I wonder where all these tiny parthenogenetic souls are residing now, given that the Pope has got rid of Limbo). Parthenogenesis requires ALL genetic material to come from the mother. If Mary did produce JC parthenogenetically, then JC would have to have been a girl, not a boy. Jesa Christine?

In fact, genuine human parthogenesis is impossible: Mary would have to have had both X and Y chromosomes in order to produce a boy. According to religious extremists (eg, Christians), God must have used heavenly cloning techniques unknown to humans of 2000 years ago. The closest thing Science has recorded so far is a single case of partial parthenogenesis where a boy (known in scientific literature as FD ) was the result of a sperm fertilising an egg which had already spontaneously started dividing (the sperm didn't get to the church on time, ho ho) Incidentally, the boy FD has a mild learning disability, slight facial assymetry, small testes, and his blood bears no genetic trace of any father. The perfect candidate for the latest Messiah?

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...and as for Xmas shopping and gift-giving
...bah humbug. All I want for Christmas is a free membership of S.C.R.O.O.G.E., the Society to Curtail Ridiculous, Outrageous and Ostentatious Gift Exchange. I realize this is breaking with a long tradition:

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And now, Your Honour, the Prosecution will present its case against the myth of Christmas Night.

The latest anti-Santa chimney, brought to you by the same
thoughtful folks who created the anti-Jehovah Witness door

By one estimate, there are about 842 million chimneys. Given the average distance between houses, this means that Santa has to travel about 356 million kilometres in a single night. He begins delivering presents at the international date line at the stroke of midnight, but hey, Santa's one smart dude. He cunningly can remain on the international date line, giving him a full 24 hours.

But he does even better than this - he can travel backwards, against the direction of the rotation of the earth. giving himself a further 24 hours to complete his deliveries. Your Honour, even with this extended 48-hour schedule, Santa has only 2 ten-thousanths of a second to travel from one house to the next.

To achieve this, his sleigh would have to fly at a speed of 2,060 km per second. This is 6,395 times the speed of sound. Santa must have developed software to suppress sonic booms. And this speed doesn't take into account the fact that he has to carry a sack loaded with presents for 2,106 million children.

BUT, Your Honour... Santa also needs extra time to squeeze down each of the 842 million chimneys, select and place presents under the tree, fill stockings, gulp his dry martini and cookies, then climb back up to the sleigh, and fly on to the next house... from a standing start! He therefore may have to reduce his time allocation per house to only one ten-thousanth of a second. Clearly, Your Honour, Santa's Xmas feat is clearly a load of bollocks, which immediately throws suspicion on his insatiable urge to visit himself upon young children so late at night.

One of Santa's real sleighs, overloaded at Bangkok during the recent
airport blockade. Prezzies may be a tad late this year, kids.
Fortunately for Santa, Einstein's Theory of Relativity and nanotechnology may come to his rescue. The higher Santa's speed, the more Time dilates and Space contracts, giving ample opportunity, even months, to leisurely deliver all those presents in what for the rest of us is a blink of an eye.

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Next, the heart-warming Christmas Goat Saga
(violins, please). An international charity has been donating goats to grateful communities around the central Srilankan town of Anaradhapura (all together now... aaahhh!). The intention was to provide milk, procreate a national herd, and thus kickstart an industry.

The outcome has not been quite up to expectations as the goats have mostly been roasted the minute they arrive. Lately, however, goats have been (voluntarily) drafted by the Sinhalese military as landmine-sweepers. Their salary is $4 per month, paid to the farmer in trust for the National Goat Retirement Fund. So, praise Satan, goats are far better off now.

Mysteriously, though, there's a new shop selling freshly baked goat-mince pies set up outside the Ministry of Foreign Trade in Galle Road, Colombo, but the influential Tamil owners are refusing to comment. Oddly, the small print on the wrapper reads "May contain traces of peanuts and shrapnel".

Kiss your goat goodbye, then send this postcard to all its kids:

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Next, I'll tackle the all mythical cr*p about

Reindeer! Rudolph's nose is red only because reindeer noses provide a welcoming environment for bacteria. Reindeer have elaborately folded turbinal bones, covered with blood-rich membranes which warm the air as they breathe in, and cool the air as they breathe out, thereby reducing the loss of both heat and water (Even when there are icicles and frost on Santa's beard, his reindeer will have dry muzzles). Rudolph's red nose is therefore most likely caused by a parasitic infection of his respiratory system:

Did you know that Lapplanders and other ethnic northern peoples use only castrated male reindeer to pull loads? Only castrated males retain their headgear beyond Xmas day, whereas fully functional males squander their energy - and their antlers - on sex and violence. By the time Xmas arrives, the only adult reindeers with antlers - and enough energy - to drag around a sleigh full of presents, are likely to be female. Gee wiz, somebody's been lying to me.

Rudolphina, worse for wear the morning after

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Santa was having a bad hair day. He felt sick, his elves had drunk all his cider, the reindeer had gone AWOL, and his sled broke a floorboard. He was rapidly losing his patience.

Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open. There stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree. The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it? '

And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

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FunkyPix2 loves challenging myths, so here we go again. According to the Koran [Qu’ran], Jesus probably wasn’t born at Bethlehem but just down the hill at the small town of Abu Diyah.

And did you know that myrrh, when dissolved in water, is a form of painkiller?

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References:
1. Highfield, Roger. Can Reindeer Fly? The Science of Christmas. Metro Books, London, 1998.

2. All of my previous posts, including earlier anti-Xmas rants, are under the heading of "Religious Issues" here in a new window. If you love Jesus H. Christ, don't look here.

Finally...an Israeli talking common sense about Gaza

Larry Derfner's article in the Jerusalem Post is a fall of rain in the (literal) desert of the Middle East. Larry can see that the emperor really doesn't have any clothes, and has the courage to say so. Here's his opening paragraph:

We have to change the way we think about Gaza, we have to change the way we act, we have to stop bashing Gazans around as mindlessly and automatically as we do. Israel's war with Gaza has to be the most one-sided war on earth, and it is causing tremendous unnecessary suffering to people there, it's putting Israeli soldiers and civilians in unnecessary danger, and it is leading Israel toward a big, bloody invasion that will get a lot of people on both sides killed for nothing.

At last ! a moderate Israeli who understands that co-operation and negotiation represent the only solution for the Middle East:

..........................................Teamwork

But of course Israeli nationalist right wing hawks swarm like angry ants at the first sign of compromise. Here a selection of their brain-washed facile responses for your inspection, Dear Thinking Reader:

*Why, it's simple you are 100% wrong 100% of the time. We should truly disengage ourselves. Meaning close the border to ALL traffic, turn off the power and water. Then whenever any attack comes our way return 100,000 artillery rounds. We will have peace one way or another.

*Solution...Post signs at all Hamas/Gaza weapons smuggle tunnels limiting all future use to bringing only UN food.....if that doesn't work...nuke 'em !!!

*The proper response to continued attack from Gaza would be to take territory permanently away from the Hamas occupiers. Lets start at the north west border fo Gaza and for each missle, morter or incursion from Gaza a 100 meter wide section of the country, from the sea to the opposite side of the strip is occupied, bulldozed down to bedrock and the rubble thrown into the sea. If the owners of the buildings want to remain in them, fine. Bulldoze them under as well. Eventually you will have one of two conditions. Either the whole of the strip is gone, or the muslims learn that war is costly.

Dear Reader, I leave you to draw your own considered and detached conclusions.

(Do you remember when Israeli bulldozers callously crushed Palestinians to death as they slept at Jenin?)

"Ah cain't fergit the horrrr of them chahpers in 'Nam. Jest werrrn't worrrth it."

Many hotels here in Thailand refuse to accept people presenting Israeli passports. Malaysia refuses to allow Israelis into the country at all.

...... Choose your own caption to the above photo:

...... [a] ..The UN Assembly voting (yet again) to condemn Israel's violence

...... [b]...Republicans voting to condemn the UN

...... [b] ..Hungry Gazan citizens begging for bread and water

.................

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I have composed a piece for string orchestra about the reconciliation process between Israel and Palestine. Oddly enough, it's entitled Reconciliation. It's hosted on MySpace Music here: this link will open conveniently in a new window. Once you're in MySpace, you can read my program notes if you click the 'Lyrics' link (even after the music has started). Crank up the volume slider control to the max before you begin, as the music opens extremely quietly.

2066 And All That. In Pictures - the financial crisis

Here boy, Catch! It's so cool to chase the Stockmarket Frisbee, wherever it goes. Wheeeeeeeeeee!

Right at this moment we're feeling fairly much how this pooch feels as the penny drops (pun intended). Gee golly whiz, it's all been a massive hoax! Gosh. It's one of those "rabbit-caught-in-the-headlights" moments, which everyone (except the Joe the friggin' Plumber and me) apparently knew was coming:

Luckily, I stashed one of these free Mugabe lunch vouchers in my wallet:

...and, together with my financial adviser (my wife), devised a foolproof Personal Bailout Plan:

Things are lookin' bad, George... your Texas limousine may soon look like this:

We all know, however, that any crisis could be fixed if only everyone went out and did more SHOPPING with their credit card:

Avoid using cash at all costs. Banker Henry Paulsen apparently agrees with FunkyPix2, having just re-jigged the US bailout away from toxic assets in favour of assisting marginal banks dish out yet more consumer credit... which (if I'm not mistaken) was the original cause of the crash, yes/no?
Throwing water onto the fire? Petrol? Or whisky?

...... ......or is it simply that Paulsen happens to own a bunch of shares in those banks?

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PORTFOLIO DOWN AGAIN...?

WELL, HERE ARE SOME COMFORTING THOUGHTS:

.. All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

.. Two can live as cheaply as one, for half as long.

.. Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

.. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.

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Breaking News for those investing money in Japan:

'Following the problems in the sub-prime lending market in America and the run on Northern Rocks in the UK, uncertainty has now hit Japan. In the last 7 days Origami Bank has folded, Sumo Bank has gone belly up and Bonsai Bank announced plans to cut its branches. Yesterday it was announced that Kamacazi Bank was suspended after it nosed-dived. Furthermore, 500 staff at Karate Bank got the chop and analysts report that there is something fishy going on at Sushi Bank where it is feared the staff my get a raw deal’.

Aw heck, I'd say it's still possible to identify unexploited business opportunities in Japan:

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Want to trigger a stampede at the office?
No need to throw shoes at the boss... just circulate this memo:

Attention all staff:

Due to the current financial situation caused by the
slowdown of economy, Management has decided to implement a scheme to put workers of 40 years of age and above on early retirement. This scheme will be known as RAPE (Retire Aged People Early).

Persons selected to be RAPED can apply to management to
be eligible for the SHAFT scheme (Special Help After Forced Termination).

Persons who have been RAPED and SHAFTED will be reviewed under the SCREW program (Scheme Covering Retired Early Workers).

A person may be RAPED once, SHAFTED twice and
SCREWED as many times as Management deems appropriate.

Persons who have been RAPED can only get AIDS (Additional
Income for Dependants & Spouse) or HERPES (Half Earnings for Retired Personnel Early Severance).

Obviously persons who have AIDS or HERPES will not
be SHAFTED or SCREWED any further by Management.

Persons who are not RAPED and are staying on will receive as much SHIT (Special High Intensity Training) as possible. Management has always prided itself on the amount of SHIT it gives employees. Should you feel that you do not recieve enough SHIT, please bring to the attention of your Supervisors. They have been trained to give you all the SHIT you can handle.

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And now here is the Finance News. This is a nasty graph of the latest performance of the Australian dollar against the Thai baht. As Australians, our purchasing power here in Thailand is reduced to only two-thirds of what it was in July. Eeeek.

The U.S. Puppy Election: the race to become First Dog in the White House

Republicans always prefer conventional dogs, pretty dogs, wealthy dogs, white dogs... mostly BORING dogs... to be nominated as First Canine in the White House... and probably military dogs if they thought they could get away with it:

However, under Bark Obama's superior guidance and liberal vision, I expect that some disadvantaged and unusual dogs, ugly underdogs and dog minority groups, will be offered equal opportunity to succeed to Caninity's highest position. In Dog We Trust... after all, America is the Howly Land, innit?

FunkyPix2 hereby nominates some candidates for the official position of White House Puppy:
........ [PS: correspondence may be entered into. Australian dollars, please]

... and every good political rally or Dogvention should conclude with a rollicking good song:

Howl together now!!

...and you never know, in another 50 years a talented young pooch (maybe black?) could emerge from obscurity to take over Tony Snow's role as presidential attack-person ...and would certainly do a fairer more balanced job:

The rise and rise of dogs in the White House may even signal an Obama-McCanine Democratic ticket in 2012. And why not? They once laughed and claimed that a black person could never become president... didn't they? Scottie would have made a better presidog than Bush, for sure.

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STOP PRESS !! FunkyPix2's puppy bid now has competition from the government of Peru, who are offering the Whine House a bald long-eared toothless mangy mutt which they claim to be non-allergenic to children!!! Looks like a cross between a rat and a rabbit. Video here.
Ha! Cheap shot. Cunning marketing. Horrid dastardly trick. Don't believe 'em, Bark.

Even more strange body art, tattoos and mutilations

I get a surprisingly high number of hits on my earlier blog posts on the topics of body art, tattoos, mutilation, etc. Links to these are at the end of this post.

So for all you FunkyPix Freaks ;-) here are some more pix for your twisted pleasure and gratification...

New uses for silicon implants

Do-it-yourself elf ear

(This last photo reminds me of a previous post of mine, towards the end of which JC can be viewed in some compromising situations).

To see more weird body art, tattoos, mutilations and creative surgery, see my previous posts here and here. Hey, don't try these at home.

Baan Sweet Baan: How to renovate an apartment in Chiangmai

One of the night views from our new Chiangmai apartment.
The light on the peak of the mountain is the Doi Suthep temple
Click here if you're interested in perving on the progress of our renovation job here in Chiangmai. To be updated from time to time...

Fannie Mae announces the death of Capitalism? Er, no, actually.

With the nationalization of the FM twins, Bush has actually CONFIRMED that Capitalism has succeeded beyond the wildest dreams of its pioneers. However, through sheer human greed, Capitalism has morphed into Frankenstein, turning on its wealthy masters. And that leaves young Republicain John McLame in an embarrasingly tight spot, given that he's just finished poo-pooing the idea of Big Government Spending, high taxes etc.

The purpose of Capitalism (Colonialism, Globalisation) has always been to create a self-perpetuating system which ensures that the rich can constantly become richer. When Bush drones on about FREEDOM, what he really means is "the freedom to move financial capital unimpeded around the world".

Taken to its logical extreme, the "rich-getting-richer" model would result in all the world's wealth concentrating into the hands of a single individual. Trouble with that is, no-one else in the world would have any income to buy products from that rich person's corporation. The richest person in the world would therefore, ironically, starve to death along with all the poor people.

That's what's happening with Freddie Mac and Fannie Mae. The rich can get richer only if the poor get poorer. There's only so much water in a glass. The money has to come from somewhere, ain't it? We know there is no such thing as a free lunch... even if the Fed were simply simply to print more cash.

And it has come to pass that as the Poor get poorer and can't afford their mortgages, the rich people's cash cow has suddenly dried up. If you want a cow to give regular milk, you must give it some decent pasture. If you want people to give regular mortgage payments, you have to give them decent pasture too. You've got to structure the system to ensure they have jobs. And here's a novel idea to many Republicans: a job should actually produce enough income to pay for both food AND rent. Please read that last sentence again.

The wealth of a nation must be spread relatively fairly around all its members, not hugely concentrated in its elite. This idea, of course, is Socialism. Other associated 'dirty' media-speak words spring to mind ...like Marxism, Unionism, Left Wing, Equality, Respect for others, Respect for self, and above all (ugh, heaven forbid) "Liberalism".

Just because you're well-heeled doesn't mean that you're smart.

With Freddie Mae and Fannie Mac threatening to go down,
maybe there'll be fewer Volvo bicycles sold to millionaire CEOs this year.

This nationalisation means that the Republicans are being forced to compromise and head further to the political Left. Deliciously, all this at a time when it's forcing Republican candidate George W. McClone to squirm and dodge.

And even more interesting when you consider that the world's largest Socialist power, China, is now powering to the political Right by becoming Capitalists. Makes you wonder if there is a perfect point somewhere in the political Centre (...or should that be 'Muddle'?).

For a fireside chat about the idealogical differences between the Right and the Left, see this post. Although it related to the last Australian election, it's still relevant to the Obama-Muckain duel.

China. CHINA? Yoo-hoo, where ARE you??

No need to make the obvious comment about being one-eyed... is there?

Not a single person in China looks at this website anymore, according to my hit-counter.

Until a few months ago, I was getting as many hits in China as anywhere else in Asia, often more. Then suddenly - blackout. Not-a-one. Could the Chinese government IP have been offended by the photographic humour in my webpage showing alternative Olympic sports ? Bureaucrats have always been humourless. More likely the cause lies with articles on Globalisation or What’s really going on in BURMA? Hey, I'm unrepentant.

Are you happy with the country in which you live? Yes, Siam.

It's Show-and-Tell diary catch-up time again. We've just returned to Chiangmai from Adelaide (the one in Austraya) where we assisted my old mum to move into a Nursing Home [above] to ensure she can enjoy the sunset of her life to the max.

We've been through the archetypal "Family Disruption" soapie, where the script is totally predictable. An extremely exhausting process, both physically and mentally. Could never have done it properly without Marie's stalwart determination. Sell the kitchen sink, sell the piano, go through mountains of paperwork/photos/junk, re-paint, re-carpet, sell the house ....arrrgh!

It's all been a jolting object lesson in Reality: Don't Get Old. Whatever you do, DON'T. GET. OLD. Half of Adelaide comprises retired people, half comprises geriatric patients, and the third half comprises young people either employed in the Nursing Home industry or filling in unemployment forms. Ageing is the city's only growth industry. Weird feeling.

We took an overnight sanity break by car up to the nearby Yorke Peninsula, where Marie lived for 3 years as a child. The sheer desolation, unsustainable dryness, and lethargic stagnation was truly creepy. It really compounded that 'imminent death' sensation we had felt in Adelaide:

This was a derelict barley silo on Yorke Peninsula. No barley crops within coo-ee now. Just stones, a handful of sheep, and eternal saltbush. Low, colourless, and devoid of life as we know it.

So we returned to the Big City to continue our task, but happened to have cause to visit the city centre on a Saturday morning. The photo below was taken in King William Street at 11am, the supposed peak shopping time. Like, um, ...hey, where are the people??

They're all too old to drive? Can't remember where the bus stop is? Can't see to read the tram timetable? Er, oops, we're getting a tad geriatric ourselves...

Anyway, we scuttled back to civilisation here in Chiangmai and were greeted by the usual ongoing array of crazy new sights, young energetic people, concerts, festivals, crowds and congenial ambience. Am I happy living here? Yes, of course Siam.

P.S. We're happy to the extent that we've made an offer to buy a condo unit here, and the offer's just been accepted. Woo-hoo. We're not counting chickens, but watch the space (high-lighted in blue) on the 14th floor, a stretched corner unit with 3 banks of windows facing north, plus one looking at the mountain (same as our current rented apartment).


Looking towards Huaykaew Road in the distance.


Marie celebrates at Chiangmai's famous "Can Do" bar,
while the papparazzi swoops in on a scoop.

STOP PRESS: August. Now we have the orange-highlighted room as well [see below], and the rennovation nightmare is well under way. The big green balcony looks north to infinity. The green window at the right is the lounge, looking west to the mountains. The red room is the kitchen, the blue is the bedroom, and the orange is an office and TV room. Inside there's another office, a dressing room, and 2 bathrooms.

Ethiopian Orthodox relics? What ARE these ancient objects?

Ethiopian Orthodox iconography isn't exactly my forté, but I'd like to display two of these ancient tablets which have come into my possession. I hope that someone more erudite may be able to enlighten me.

Each measures about 10 x 11 cm, and about 5 mm thick at the thickest point. The one above may be an image of a Crusader or a missionary. Another bears an interesting script which reminds me of Egyptian hieroglyphics or perhaps Coptic script, while there are also representations of St George killing the Dragon, Angels, and possibly the 4 Evangelists. Each piece is not flat nor perfectly formed, but shows the irregularity of hand-carving, and is slightly convex - on both sides.

The material from which they are made? Quite heavy. Could be a stone like flint... but also sounds a lot like metal. What is the reason for the red colour persisting in the depressions? Ferrous oxides? Ink? Were these actually printing blocks for fabrics? And why are there three holes in each piece, as if they were originally bound like a book? Miraculously, a fragment of twisted leather (or gut?), slightly glossy, still lingers tantalisingly in one of the holes.

Mystery. See more photos and details here. luvian hieroglyphs cuneiform palmyrene alphabet sassanian texts proto-elamite texts greek alphabet cypriot script phoenician script cretan writing mycenaean linear b steatite archaeology religious artefacts religious icon religious icons holy pictures