28 February, 2007

IRAQ Picture Gallery:
WARNING: This webpage contains opinions

Paddle faster, George... your karma's catching up with you.

Hey, it was dopey to invade Iraq in the first place against everyone's advice. Occupation is not the same as Liberation. Now George of the Bungle not only wants to turn around and confront the Iraq shark, he's yelling "Iran or bust!"

Iraq, with its back to the wall, is rescued by super-heros George W. Batman and his brave little sidekick Robin W. Howard. In your dreams. Like the above photograph of a pavement artist, Coalition propaganda is about smoke, mirrors and an occasional direct lie. The retreat from Iraq is being propagandized in the media as a "surge" in order to save face.

George hopes to delay the final humiliation as long as he possibly can so that the next US administration can collect the blame - and as much of the cost as possible. Bush recalls 'that' embarrassing photograph of american GIs clambering onto that final helicopter as it lifted off the roof of the defeated american embassy in Saigon.. . ouch. "Never again", I recall reading in the headline back in 1975...

Grains of Salt supplied FREE with each newspaper, courtesy of FunkyPix2.

The Madness of King George. Here's his tax-payer funded mobile throne for his victory lap in 2008. Kim Jong Il wishes HE'D thought of it. If you think this is dumb, have look at the USA's secret weapon invented by Donald Rumsfelt.

Who Bush imagines he is. ... ...and who he really is .

...and he's got a plan for victory, but cain't quite pernounce...prununciate... prenoncify... (aw, shucks), he cain't SAY it real good.

And as for the 2008 Presidential election...
Voters in Australia do NOT need to vote according to party preferences.
You can vote for candidates in any order you choose.

This faithful Howard-Ducklips clone-voter always votes exactly how he's told, according to the preference cheat-sheet they hand him at the polling booth.
That way he doesn't have to T-H-I-N-K.

The pissed-off Cat in the Cage is a metaphor for the day when Bush, Blair and Howard may be convicted at the War Crimes Tribunal in the Hague. I hear you laugh and say "It's not possible"... but YES, it is entirely possible. As we speak, precedents about genocide and other war crimes are being set. The only reason america is currently quarantined is because Bush has quarantined it - by simply asserting that the USA and its military do not recognise the International Court. That's how he's getting away with Guantanamo... but his false facade and bravado is merely chest-thumping and legally quite fragile.

It's all part of the bullying arrogance of the 600-lb gorilla that makes the world dislike Coalition members... and will eventually bring them to their knees - and to justice. Being full of your own self-importance will never make crime OK, and there are a lotta people out there with justified axes to grind.

The International Court sentences George Wilful Bush to hang for the murder of...
(psst! HOW many people did you just say?).

Where's Harmonica Lewinsky when she's really needed?

Coalition of the Swimming.
(Guess which one is John Dubya Ducklips Howard)

Australians have a word for people who slavishly follow close behind their boss in order to obtain personal reward.

The rats will have to desert the sinking pier soon enough anyway. Why not do it SOON and save many lives? Surely australia's catholic-cult extremist Tony "The Pope" Abbott would have to agree that ¯Every Sperm is Sacred¯ Are sperms somehow LESS sacred (and MORE dispensible) once they develop into adult human beings? Let's see you wriggle out of that one, young Tone.

Australia's reason for going to war... and for staying there?

Speaking of cemeteries and exits, if you'd like to read more of my blogs on the American Oil War (the one the american media chooses to call the IRAQ war), click on any of the following links (each of which opens in its own window):

Bowing out like Beckham, Bush and Blair.

3+1=2: Adding MORE creates LESS. Bush’s arithmetic on the IRAQ withdrawal simply doesn’t add up.

War is too serious a matter to be left to mere military men.

Give up surfing, Bush. Time to head for the beach, pal.

It’s IRAQ, stupid…

Many more related links are located under the heading “Browse by Category” in the right-hand column of your screen. In an idle moment, why not check out all of america's other fun wars?

27 February, 2007

Emperor Ducklips Howard is naked except for his uranium hat

Dubya Ducklips Howard wearing his ureanium hat

Australia is full of naked emperors. The nakedist nudist of all is John Dubya Howard (Oh yuk... Perish the thought).

Why are people too timid to pin him down on his obvious self-contradiction about uranium exports? If security is really a 'core' issue for him, he should cease uranium mining and exports immediately, yes/no?
Blind Freddie could see that if a Nerve Gas deposit were discovered in the Northern Territory, it might be considered unwise to export it. It’s a pity that uranium ore looks so harmless and innocent... rather like boring gravel from your own backyard. It might help more if it looked more sinister, maybe like "suspicious white powder".

Howard Ducklips should explain to the world why increased sales of australian uranium are helping to make the world a safer place. He deftly dances around all sorts of distractions, but his arguments always come down to the boring mantra: “Protecting Australian Jobs”, "Federal Deficit" etc, all arguments centering around money. Will you so quickly prioritize your wallet on the day a nuclear fallout cloud from a 'dirty bomb' settles on Sydney - or will you be speeding south on the overcrowded A1 freeway in a blind panic, like everyone else?

Sorry, Mr Howard, australians are NOT whores to the world. At least, I’m not, and nor is Greens senator Christine Milne.

Even if uranium is sold to allegedly “friendly” countries, it can easily be on-sold to 'rogue' states. Uranium is uranium, no matter where it came from, and, once sold overseas, can be re-sold to any third party, despite golden promises to the contrary. Other countries are just as keen to profit from uranium as australia, and in today's world are increasingly likely to get offers they simply can’t refuse, even if the acquiring agents are undesirable types:

Rogue states will seek uranium from places which australia might not have expected. By continuing to sell uranium to the world in defiance of its population's wishes, australia also qualifies as a rogue state with a power-crazy money-hungry dictator.

Once on the open market, uranium can be bought by any country or organisation with cash. Australian Yellowcake may appear in unexpected places, but who will ever be able to prove that it was originally australian uranium?

The West has been propagandizing its own interests and superiority
with nuclear power ever since the 1950s.

. . . and finally, look at this brief animated cartoon showing the Labor Party's fatal flaw of copying Howard by pandering to populism rather than principle.

25 February, 2007

Egyptian blogger jailed for 4 years:
Bloggers of the World, Unite!

Abdel Kareem Nabil, a 22 year-old Egyptian blogger, has been jailed for 3 years for criticising religion, and another year for criticising a politician (President Mubarak).

I salute him, acknowledge his courage and conviction (pardon the pun) and wish him the best. I hope that my extra bit of exposure will assist his cause and help to protect him personally. There but for the Grace of Dog go I.

If criticising religion and politicians is evil, then whoever writes for FunkyPix2 is doomed to burn forever... and there's no sign of repentance. Blog on, McDuff...

FunkyPix2 University has developed a unique scientific test to measure your own personal level of "Social Concern". We invite you to participate right now. There are two simple steps:

STEP 1. Briefly touch this digitally-sensitized Red Square: g

STEP 2. Scroll down to read your result


(keep going...)


(nearly there...)

Results: Maybe try the test again tomorrow, after a strong coffee.

23 February, 2007

Global Warming: Primate migration is happening again, but in REVERSE!

Weather patterns tend to come in cycles over millions of years, so clearly the alleged threat from Global Warming is a load of unnecessary bollocks ...yes? ...no? ...maybe? (why not vote in the Poll in the right-hand margin of this blog, then check the results?)

National Geographic (2 August 2006) reports that an ancient period of Global Warming (55 million years ago) prompted the world's first tiny primates to spread from Asia to North America.

Spurred on by warmer weather (a mere 5°C increase) and facillitated by the appearance of new land bridges emerging from under melting ice, small chipmunk-like mammals rapidly travelled from tree to tree. Within a mere 20,000 years they colonized north america and (presumably) evolved into human beings, or - failing that - into americans.

Now, during the present period of Global Warming, we are already observing a reversal of that ancient migration. Millions of americans are taking advantage of the warmer weather to travel back to other parts of the globe.

First it was to Vietnam, then Bosnia, then Afghanistan and Iraq. Now they've got their eye on Iran, Venezuela, Sudan, Turkmenistan, and possibly Burma. Perhaps even New Zealand could be at risk now that its membership in ANZUS is kaput.

Scientists at the FunkyPix2 Anti-Globalisation Institute have labelled this re-dispersal "Globalised Mammalian Pre-Emptive Migration". They warn that several disadvantaged smaller colonies of humans are at severe risk of physical and economic extinction as a result.

Museum of the future?
Complete skeleton of a "Homo Uncle Sampiens"
in typical aggressive pose, unearthed in Central Iraq.
Dated c. 21st century A.D.

A well-known american attempted to migrate to Vietnam by sea, but failed. Her trip was intended to have been a pilgrimage of repentance for the american war in Vietnam, but it's alleged that the CIA apparently tripped her up before she even stepped into the water.


In breaking-wind news, FunkyPix2 today announces the establishment of its susidiary

Global Weather Insurance Company

Already bigger than Lloyds of London, GWIC can quickly fix your company's risk from the expensive effects of Climate Change. The more that the USA and australia ignore rising C02 levels, the more YOUR corporation will need a GWIC FIX Policy.

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22 February, 2007

Chicken Congress urged to peck for Democracy and Bird Rights

A human terrrrrrrrist chases the few chickens who remain alive in this ghastly burning death-pit. No-one survived - but the human apparently escaped to safety.

The President of the United Coops of America today pledged on behalf of all free chickens to win the War on Terrrrr against agents of the evil organization "W.H.O."

President Chick Guevara said that gangs of masked humans are senselessly slaughtering thousands of civilians with WMD, stuffing them into sacks, burying them alive in pits, then dusting them with a mysterious white powder. Some are even incinerated alive without mercy.

None is safe from the terrrrrrists, even laying hens, chicks and un-hatched eggs. These terrrrrrists will stop at nothing, he said. Training camps are rumoured to be located in an Axis of Evil spanning London, Perris, Noo Yahk and Sinny. Blatant daylight genocidal farm raids are tearing apart families.

Even young chicks are being painfully de-beaked and secretly fed strange body-building drugs without their knowledge. Many are being disabled by having their wing feathers clipped. The President asked "Why is it that the terrrrrrists hate us so much?"

This youngster's top beak has been painfully clipped
so it couldn't effectively Peck Back In Anger.

No wonder millions of young fundamentalist chickens are so angry.

The Chicken Infiltration Agency (CIA) has urged chickens the world over to sharpen up their blunted beaks and attack the terrrrrrrrrists in order to locate and disable their WMD.

The President is also asking Chicken Coopgress to fund an additional 21,500 Avian Corps Freedom Fighters as a counter-terrrrrist force. He also asked for funds to research Mad Human Disease, viz:

The idea that little tiny defenceless birds could be harming larger and more aggressive creatures like humans or cats is utterly ridiculous:

So!!! Chickens of the Coop Unite!

Declare Chicken Jihad against the infidel!

Break free of your chains!