23 February, 2007

Global Warming: Primate migration is happening again, but in REVERSE!

Weather patterns tend to come in cycles over millions of years, so clearly the alleged threat from Global Warming is a load of unnecessary bollocks ...yes? ...no? ...maybe? (why not vote in the Poll in the right-hand margin of this blog, then check the results?)

National Geographic (2 August 2006) reports that an ancient period of Global Warming (55 million years ago) prompted the world's first tiny primates to spread from Asia to North America.

Spurred on by warmer weather (a mere 5°C increase) and facillitated by the appearance of new land bridges emerging from under melting ice, small chipmunk-like mammals rapidly travelled from tree to tree. Within a mere 20,000 years they colonized north america and (presumably) evolved into human beings, or - failing that - into americans.

Now, during the present period of Global Warming, we are already observing a reversal of that ancient migration. Millions of americans are taking advantage of the warmer weather to travel back to other parts of the globe.

First it was to Vietnam, then Bosnia, then Afghanistan and Iraq. Now they've got their eye on Iran, Venezuela, Sudan, Turkmenistan, and possibly Burma. Perhaps even New Zealand could be at risk now that its membership in ANZUS is kaput.

Scientists at the FunkyPix2 Anti-Globalisation Institute have labelled this re-dispersal "Globalised Mammalian Pre-Emptive Migration". They warn that several disadvantaged smaller colonies of humans are at severe risk of physical and economic extinction as a result.

Museum of the future?
Complete skeleton of a "Homo Uncle Sampiens"
in typical aggressive pose, unearthed in Central Iraq.
Dated c. 21st century A.D.

A well-known american attempted to migrate to Vietnam by sea, but failed. Her trip was intended to have been a pilgrimage of repentance for the american war in Vietnam, but it's alleged that the CIA apparently tripped her up before she even stepped into the water.


In breaking-wind news, FunkyPix2 today announces the establishment of its susidiary

Global Weather Insurance Company

Already bigger than Lloyds of London, GWIC can quickly fix your company's risk from the expensive effects of Climate Change. The more that the USA and australia ignore rising C02 levels, the more YOUR corporation will need a GWIC FIX Policy.

G Email gbush@whitehouse.com for a brochure today! G

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