Here's an irresistable offer to Mr THAKSIN, now that he's moving to Australia

Psst, Mr Thaksin. When you move to Australia you'll need to adapt your traditional Thai custom of "wai-ing". As the world is learning under Mr Howard's reign, Australians don't like anything from other countries - except maybe pizza and vodka. Australians don't understood "wai-ing' as a mark of respect, but rather as an act of christian worship. When you do it, you must appear repentant, reverent, remote and serious. No smiling - and remember to close your eyes... even if TV cameras are rolling. Your buddy John W. Howard is a supporter of extremist christians, so you'll be protected by ASIO at public expense.

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Feb 13, 2007.

Chiangmai, Thailand.

Sawat-dee khrap, Kuhn Thaksin,

Please allow me to introduce ourselves, and to make you a travel offer too good to refuse.

As you appear to be interested in spending time in your newly-adopted home (Australia), we can offer you a deal to swap homes with us in Thailand once every year. That way, we can all have cheap holiday accommodation.

Our mega-luxurious security-protected penthouse in Chiangmai overlooks the royal temple at Doi Suthep, so you can bring a telescope to spy on those who so falsely accuse you of systemic corruption, murder, genocide, thousands of extra-judicial killings, grand larceny, lese majesté, perjury, bribery, gerrymandering, tax evasion, concealing assets, media-censorship, cronyism, etc etc.

You're welcome to invite any of your former Cabaret Ministers too. We also have false moustache/nose disguises available (at a nominal cost) so you can wander around Warrarot Market incognito, at long last tasting a genuine Somtam again, an item you must be missing by now. We imagine you must be already getting tired of Australia's diet of mueyt poys with mashed pueys and tamahda sauce eh.

I trust there could be reciprocal use of your private jet (to and from Chiangmai, by-passing that nest-of-vipers in coup-riddled Bangkok), plus airport transfers in bullet-proof limousines as part of the deal. No-one wants excessive exposure to media during their retirement, do they?

Imagine - you too can be a free and relaxed Thai citizen again for a few precious weeks AT NO COST*, courtesy of FunkyPix2.

Looking forward to hearing from you,

Yrs truly,
Peter & Marie (Bush)

* Not that cost really matters, of course. Money's made to go around, ...specially when it's someone else's. "Let 'em eat rice-cake", as we Globalists say.

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We deplore the fact that scumbags in the naughty Surayud government continue to publish fake photos of killings by the former government headed by your good self. This fake picture of dead Muslims has OBVIOUSLY been photoshopped so the blame could be unfairly pinned on YOURSELF, Mr Thaksin, and the second one is probably a famous Thai actor feigning death during your heroic "War on Drugs". Those 2500 people all deserved to be executed without trial, right there on the street and with NO warning.

---oOo---

What a lot of folded paper birds! Beats us why your (very few) critics think your plans are hairbrained and media-driven. The tactic of air-dropping millions of folded paper cranes on Muslim rebels in southern Thailand was simply BRILLIANT. Everyone knows it's a Buddhist gesture of peace. Even Muslims should have been sensitive to that... shouldn't they? In any case, as we fly over on our way to Australia, we'll drop more if you request. Can we do the same for your "Million Cows Scheme", Sir?

---oOo---

We fail to understand how Thais didn't appreciate your funny little prank at a press conference. Gosh, it was only a mere journalist's question which you didn't feel was worthy of a response. We both thought holding up an X was highly amusing. What a gallant sense of humour you have, sir. We can't help it if all 65 million Thai citizens felt offended, patronised and belittled. How could your critics possibly have construed this as a media-muzzling power-trip by an out-of-control square-faced megalomaniac?

---oOo---

Mr Thaksin, when you land at Sydney Airport, your admiring fans at FunkyPix2 suggest that you don't trust their runways. They may have cracks and subsidence even worse than the new airport you built at Bangkok. We recommend you land your private Singapore Airlines jet on the Bondi Beach Traffic Flyover. It's much safer, and you can buy the golf-course nearby.

---oOo---

Mr Thaksin, Sir, your critics attempt to paint your image like this. Don't let them demoralise you, Sir, on your inexorable path to becoming CEO of Thailand once again. We pray for your Second Coming because you're sure to assist Thailand's debt-ridden farmers in the next life... aren't you? Sir?...

...Hello?