18 February, 2007

Climate Refugees flee Australia in huge numbers: Water, water everywhere, and not a drop to drink

n The Weakened Australian, 3 July 2060.

SYDNEY. Hundreds more boatloads of Australian "climate refugees" sailed from Botany Bay this morning in a desperate bid to reach the New Guinea Highlands or New Zealand.

Now that habitable parts of Australia have all but vanished under the rising waters of the Pacific Ocean, there has been a mass exodus to seek higher ground. Most refugees have been hand-picked by Liberal Prime Minister Bindi Irwin, now in her fourth term of office.

Ms Irwin has mostly selected Liberal Party voters as "first cabs off the rank", as she put it. She has been criticised for donating Australia's last 8,000 litres of petrol to her supporters, as well as precious bottled water imported from Thailand. "Dad would have approved", she insisted, completely neutralising any questioning from reporters.

It is not yet known if the refugees will be accepted by the Indonesian authorities as the Indonesians, too, are desperate to preserve remaining high ground. If refused entry, the illegal Australian refugees may have to continue to China, Vietnam or even Iraq where their fates would be unknown. Since becoming the world's only superpower, China has been turning back refugees from poorer countries such as Australia and England.

The notorious blogger FunkyPix4 wrote that it wasn't so much a case of "first cabs off the rank" as "rats deserting a sinking ship". PM Irwin commented that critics often try to poloiticize issues out of proportion, and also that she doesn't negotiate with terrrrrrrrrsts. . .

One of the few remaining fragments of NSW still protruding from the ocean. Australian boatpeople have flocked there in recent years, creating a permanent refugee camp of several thousand souls. Water and fuel are scarce and cholera is rampant, but the wealthy Liberal Party landlord still runs his old 2009 model Mazda antique car as an historical curiosity.

. . . . . . OK, dream over... fade up to the reality of 2007. In fact, the first Climate Refugees have already been forced to migrate - from New Orleans (ohhh the irony, Globocracy George). Many thousands have vacated, vowing never to return. Truth is, they're the lucky ones - at least they have a choice.

Unlike the residents of New Orleans, many Pacific Islanders will not have that luxury unless they quickly evolve fins. The tropical island of Tuvalu, among others, will be under water in less than 10 years from now. The world's poorest people are the ones who will suffer most from climate change... and they contributed the least pollutants.

As Pacific islands submerge, Australia will be their most logical and practical destination, given that neither Australia nor the USA have ratified the Kyoto Protocol on Climate Change. Australia is closer to them than the USA. Therefore it will be completely natural for Islanders to look to Australia to compensate them for the loss of their homeland, even though they know Australians are racist bigots and dislike all 'fuzzy-wuzzies'. Once upon a time, grateful Australian soldiers on the Kokoda Track dubbed them Fuzzy-Wuzzy Angels for their support while fighting the Japanese. Alas, times have changed and Aussies are now obediently hating all non-Aussies, guided by the impeccable moral values of their Dear Leader, Dubya Ducklips Howard:

Howard's 'Fortress Australia' mentality has fostered a mindset of fear of foreigners and of travel. It is a thinly-disguised return to the White Australia' policy of the 1950s. Australians might be surprised to learn that their actions and words are noticed - and remembered - by people overseas. Howard's stupid remark about being a "Deputy Sherrif" is imprinted forever on the minds of Thai people..

John W. Howard's Environment Minister (Ian Campbell) summed up this racist about-face by refusing to commit to accepting climate refugees, instead suggesting the possibility of economic assistance so Islanders could stay put on their islands and 'enjoy strong economic growth'.
OK, sure, but how will they grow taro and coconuts underwater? Australia must learn to take responsibility for failing to sign up to Kyoto. Only then will others learn to respect it again.

Campbell continued by attempting to provoke prejudice by re-playing Howard's Race card. These are his very words in Parliament: "The Labor Party policy is to evacuate the Pacific Islands and see the Pacific Islanders flood into the suburbs of Sydney and Brisbane".
Oi oi oi, crikey, mate! Your words are offensively racist and out-of-order.

We're all illegal boatpeople.
Joseph and Mary were refugees.
Albert Einstein was a refugee.

Howard's recently proposed climate solutions are too little, and way too late.

. . . and as usual, who gets forgotten until last? This little Antarctic refugee, un-noticed by the Dept of Australian Customs & Quarantine, slips into Woolworths Hobart as its homeland melts into the ocean. Finally, watch this animated cartoon by Nicholson (of The Australian newspaper) showing how australia might actually profit from its excess of greenhouse gases. One of his best cartoons.

An earlier article of mine reveals one of Howard's devious political strategies for ensuring that climate refugees from the Asia-Pacific region will be kept at arm's length.

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