13 February, 2008

Geriatrics-in-training, wandering around Chiangmai, lost... confused...

We're both racking up the years now (*broad toothless grin*) and really oughta start considering our options for Retirement from our Retirement...

Most of our Baby-Boomer friends aren't spring lambs any more, either:

Jeez, some of the dudes who live locally are .r o o l l y .creepy:

But hey, not us... we're still young and ultra-cool, man.
We get to the beach, go for brisk walks...

...with a little help from 4WD wheelchairs... and helpful street signs:

...but we're careful crossing the roads here. Some of our friends
[all of them are more decrepit than us, of course] even
get round in a coffin dragster, to be ready - just in case...

Shut up, you. I'm not countin' on hangin' up me ol' thong anytime soon, buddy! We've gotta heap of good rock'n'rollin' to do yet:

All you stick-in-the-muds probably wouldn't dare hire this cool 4WD-BBQ-on-wheels and do burn-outs around Fraser Island ...or Phuket...eh? eh?

...and when it's time to check into that final airport, I wanna gravestone like this to house me ashes:

But in the meantime, we're pigs in mud, doing (at last!) exactly what we want to do, writing stories and composing music. Youse just gotta do it while youse still have Time, Wits, and Legs.
Yee-hah!! I feel another string quartet coming on...

Check out this flash-animated cartoon about Baby-Boomers. Surely this can't be us.

12 February, 2008

China: New sports events suggested for the Beijing Olympics

Drag-racing. The Opening/Coming-out Ceremony.

...................................... Jet-skiing.

Waterfall Polo - the team left with the most players wins.


The Equestrian Sumo event

Limited-Rounds Sumo Wrestling.
Maybe wheelchair wrestling too?

Long-Distance Queuing. Competitors who spit are disqualified.

The Medal Ceremony Endurance Marathon.

Most number of sexual partners in three 60-second elimination trials.

The Trans-City Spiderman event. Get from start to finish without ever touching street level. Shanghai (photo above) has been suggested as a venue.

The New Table Tennis.

The High-Speed Revolving Skateboard Tunnel. Get from one side to the other in the quickest time without falling. Extra points for holding a glass of water and not spilling any.

Bubble-Bumping. Similar rules to Sumo Wrestling.

Mud-Bombing. Earn points for furthest and highest splash, loudest 'thwack' sound, and most enthusiastic crowd 'oooooh'.

Nano-Golf. The stadium can be conveniently re-located anywhere at short notice in case of pollution problems.

Dodgem-cycle Elimination event.

The Para-Shoot.

The Refugee High-Jump.

Lawn-Mower Cross-Country.

Leaf-Blower Hockey.

Moto-Surfing trials.

Motor-cycle Jousting.

The Uni-cycle Uphill Scramble
Hillside Soccer.

Novelty Coffee-Drinking.

Supersonic Formula-One circuit.

"Kick-ass-and-Run". The new 'Running of the Bulls'.


The New Triathlon: 1. Underwater Ironing; 2. Bog-Snorkelling, and...

...3. Bicycle Slalem.

Co-ordinated gymnastics.
Which one of these will be tested positive for food?

Hang-Glider Skiing.

Headless Gymnastics.



Bull-diving: a revival of the Ancient Minoan sport. Win extra points for a double backward twist with triple pike, and a dustless landing.

Passenger jet aerobatics display.

Junior Yoga.