...................................... Jet-skiing.
Waterfall Polo - the team left with the most players wins.
Sneaker-racing. 
The Equestrian Sumo event
Limited-Rounds Sumo Wrestling.
Maybe wheelchair wrestling too?
Long-Distance Queuing. Competitors who spit are disqualified.
The Medal Ceremony Endurance Marathon.
Most number of sexual partners in three 60-second elimination trials.
The Trans-City Spiderman event. Get from start to finish without ever touching street level. Shanghai (photo above) has been suggested as a venue.
The New Table Tennis. 
The High-Speed Revolving Skateboard Tunnel. Get from one side to the other in the quickest time without falling. Extra points for holding a glass of water and not spilling any.
Bubble-Bumping. Similar rules to Sumo Wrestling.
Mud-Bombing. Earn points for furthest and highest splash, loudest 'thwack' sound, and most enthusiastic crowd 'oooooh'.
Nano-Golf. The stadium can be conveniently re-located anywhere at short notice in case of pollution problems.
Dodgem-cycle Elimination event.
The Para-Shoot.
The Refugee High-Jump.
Lawn-Mower Cross-Country.
Leaf-Blower Hockey.
Moto-Surfing trials.
Motor-cycle Jousting.
The Uni-cycle Uphill Scramble
Hillside Soccer.
Novelty Coffee-Drinking.
Supersonic Formula-One circuit.
"Kick-ass-and-Run". The new 'Running of the Bulls'.
Lava-Rafting.
The New Triathlon: 1. Underwater Ironing; 2. Bog-Snorkelling, and... 
...3. Bicycle Slalem.
Co-ordinated gymnastics.Which one of these will be tested positive for food?
Hang-Glider Skiing.
Headless Gymnastics.
Bobslide.
Bull-dunking.
Bull-diving: a revival of the Ancient Minoan sport. Win extra points for a double backward twist with triple pike, and a dustless landing.
Junior Yoga.
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