24 November, 2007

PM Rudd thumps Citizen Howard:
THANK YOU, FunkyPixers!

Woo HOO!!! ..You, me and FunkyPix2 are celebrating tonight
[add Sound FX of cork popping, cheering, etc].

Tonight in Thailand it's the night of the "Loi Krathong" festival with fireworks, candle-boats floating down rivers, etc, but secretly it's all about the glorious dumping of Johnny Dubya Ducklips Howard. Yee-HAAAAAA.... well done, Funkies. Your dedication was worth it.
Oi oi oi, my face hurts from grinning :-) We first heard the news while traveling to the festivities in a taxi-truck. The Thai driver was most alarmed at all the weird foreigners screaming. (Why not join our fun in Chiangmai - watch the Grand Street Parade and thousands of
hot air balloons on Youtube.)

Taking the country to war without good cause = war crime, failing to prevent the planet from overheating, racial discrimination, official corruption ...the list goes on.
Those Australians who only ever read the Townsville Bulletin or West Warnambool Warbler may be enlightened by this article in the Guardian Unlimited. It demonstrates how the rest of the world has long looked down their noses in distaste at Howard. Here are some pertinent extracts:

By throwing out their conservative prime minister, John Howard, in Saturday's election they may have dramatically tipped their nation away from the insularity, fear and materialism that he had encouraged.

[Howard had] appealed to the meaner side of the national character which was not generous: an Australia that defied the world on climate change, and sought refuge from its own history on race and the rights of its indigenous people.

At its worst the Howard government represented a distasteful reaction to modernity, and its repeated exploitation of this to achieve electoral success offered an unhealthy example to the political right around the world. That is why Mr Howard's defeat has a significance that runs beyond Australia. The politics of progress beat the politics of retreat.

Mr Rudd [is] a leader for the future, perhaps, but one who will not challenge much about the past […] Change, when it comes, will be gradual - a cleansing of values rather than a revolution in policy.

...... Don't imagine for a moment that Mr Rudd might consider abolishing the GST.

So Police Constable FunkyPix2 will remain faithfully on the beat. As we predicted, Malcolm Turnbull wants to become Liberal leader, and has stated that he doesn't mind who becomes deputy. FunkyPix2 suggests that the following candidate apply for the job:

........................Malcolm Turnbull's best electoral asset.
May he become Deputy Leader of the Opposition in 2008.

22 November, 2007

Are you still a swinging voter? Here's a quick fix on how to vote in the Australian Federal Election 07

You must vote if you are an Australian citizen on the electoral roll. But if you're still undecided after reading all my posts on the Rotten Rodent, then decide by clicking on howshouldivote.com.au. Enter your postcode then spend 3 minutes answering an easy multiple-choice quiz. Afterwards, you'll be given a list of the candidates in your electorate in the voting order suggested by your answers. No personal details. No email address required.
MEDIA LEAK!! FunkyPix2 has chosen this auspcious moment to leak a secret video to the media about Howard’s plans after the Election.

19 November, 2007

A nostalgic photo retrospective of the Australian Election. It's for YOU, John Howard

Do you have trouble getting an election these days, Mr Howard?
Maybe this small collection of some past photos from FunkyPix2 will jeer you up a little....

Click here to bring up ALL of our past articles on Australian politics on a single page - so you can browse at leisure.

Whoever gets into power, GetUp.org.au will be watching over Australia's politicians. Someone's got to keep the bastards honest after Meg Lees let us all down. Visit GetUp's excellent website where you can participate more directly - and personally - to create a more accountable Democracy in Austraya.
........ (The link opens in a new window)

...and as usual, Paul Keating bags everybody in this flash-animated cartoon by Nicholson of The Australian newspaper.

15 November, 2007

Who’s being economically irresponsible NOW, Mister Howard?

The Howard-Hanson administration’s HUGE cash hand-outs during this last lap of the election campaign are insane but not un-expected. That’s AU$9.4 BILLION in bribes to voters. Howard is panicking, painted into indefensible corners of his own making. But it's a measure of his panic that instead of defaulting to typical Conservative Right-Wing solutions based on principles of 'small government' and 'market forces always know best', he is splashing tax money around like there's no tomorrow.
..... (Dear Reader, take a deep breath before reading the next sentence)

In his 42 minute campaign speech, Howard flung cash around at the rate of 3.7 million dollars per second.

...... Gee, the Left is the New Right.
...... Wrong... the Right hasn't left yet.

Why is it that we voters have had to wait for family assistance, community halls, childcare centres, and especially a half decent Education system, etc?
Odd how for 11 stressful years we somehow didn’t notice these details. This last minute desperate (non-core?) attempt at porking triggers the obvious question: How can Howard now continue claim to be the more responsible economic manager when his huge fiscal injection is certain to be inflationary? I can’t be bought, Mister Ducklips. Checkmate. I’m not your corporate whore. And of course, Howard tries to make lemonade out of lemons by accusing Rudd of being deceitful!!! The ultimate in Reverse 'Metoo'-ism. Trouble is, the old tricky-dicky Howard tactics won't wash any more.
Not for either Howard OR Rudd.

Australia is pumped full of steroids – financial steroids – mainly due to the success of the Chinese economy. (Note: not the Australian economy). As a result, Australia is doing very well thank you, but paradoxically, Australians are not. Many are struggling to meet their mortgage and food bills, while it’s the Corporations and bigger shareholders who are the ones creaming off the bulk of the profits.

Why? Answer: Corporate profits. That’s the bottom line of Howard-ism. It’s about greed, upper-class elitism, and ruthlessly exploitative Globalisation. Globalization's intention, as the replacement for Colonialism, is to provide an international mechanism for the Rich to get ever Richer. Otherwise, logically, they wouldn't bother going to all the trouble. Remember East Timor's oil which Downer unfairly ripped off? As they say -

...... The Poor complain - they always do -
...... But that's just idle chatter;
...... Our System brings rewards to all -
...... At least to all who matter. ............... [Gerald Helleiner]

The people who benefit most from globalisation are the very ones who will be blindest to its faults. Fish can’t see water. Likewise, wealthy silvertail aristocrats like Howard, Costello, Downer - and Bush - have never had to cope with the gut-wrenching anxiety of missing a house payment in order to keep food on the table.

Also…Howard is ignoring the elephant in the room. How can he expect voters to ignore the fact that he will only stay in the job for 18 months before handing over to THIS dude 8 The leader you have when you’re not really having a leader. Vote for A, get B. Why should the well-being of an entire country be held to ransom to satisfy one man's personal ego crusade to stay in office longer than Robert Menzies? In fact, Howard's historical legacy will not be quite what he thought. Historians won't be kind, and future generations will look back with shame like they do now with Richard Nixon.

So hopefully – this time – it’s Goodbye to the Great Deciever
"...I can still smell the sulphur". Vale Ducklips. Vale Fascism. Howard is embarrassing Australia in the eyes of the world, and some Australians are still so insular they can’t see it. Preacher Howard is (at last!) drowning in his own shameful legacy:

Undertakers may need to install a skylight so Johnny’s nose doesn’t dent the roof of the hearse. I'll be intrigued to watch the gory post-mortems in the Coalition party-room after next week.
BWAAA HA HA ha ha ha!!
All this media-driven emphasis on charismatic leaders takes focus away from the real political issues. Much too American for me. I’m beginning to favour the idea of an elected Prime Ministerial Team (PMT) instead of a single ‘front-person’ whose concern is mainly to do with self-image. Replace the Senate by a PMT elected by the Lower House? Hmm. I’ll let u know the referendum date.

Compare the campaign styles – Here in Thailand, politicians share a banana to demonstrate their unity. Try to imagine Johnny Dubya Ducklips , AlexanDUH Downer, and Tony ("The Priest") Abbott sharing a Pie-with-Peas on the steps of parliament?? Coooooooool. Where’s me camera?
Enough of my prattle. Nobody listens to bloggers – but gee wiz, ignore us at your peril. We are but humble earthworms, but without our work the Soil of the Farm will turn sour. We are the social barometers, the sacrificial ‘mine canaries’, Ye! Verily, we are the Prophets …and we're still allowed to vote. Amazing.

Oi oi oi... It’s Time for more propaganda photos for you to steal and circulate during this final campaign week…

Howard has promised to ‘expedite’ the release of 961 hectares of Commonwealth land to help solve the housing crisis. That’s a miniscule amount of land in relation to the housing problem at hand. So, did I miss something? Will someone please explain? Australia is a huge continent with massive amounts of empty land… so why is there a shortage, and why does land still cost so bloody much? Is there a massive silent conspiracy among the wealthy classes? The laws of Supply & Demand only fail if artificially interfered with – ask any Capitalist. Peter Costly-ello, are you listening? Peter?

............................Oh, Peeeeeeee-ter...?!

P.S. This online Pork-O-Meter from the Age Newspaper will keep you up to date with who is spending what in the Australian Election Campaign.
And watch as Kirribilli is auctioned (Nicholson flash-animated cartoon). It'll lift your fading electoral pecker, fix your ticker, ...whatever.

And to conclude, here's a very fun
Must Watch
video. These street interviews with a realistic Howard puppet tell the true story of Election 07. It’s not insignificant that the Sydney Morning Herald featured this video on its website. Read between the lines, folks. Read my clips ;-)