07 August, 2007

Is John Howard TOO OLD?
Here's the proof in pictures

If .JOHNNY DUBYA DUCKLIPS HOWARD thought he was not too old to get another election, why did he scurry off to hide in East Timor for his 68th birthday? He's losing the plot lately, as these pictures demonstrate. It's all becoming a bit of a shaggy blog story...

Howard not too old? Decide for yourself after listening to this report on ABC radio, and this flash animated cartoon (by Nicholson of The Australian) in which Peter Costello makes his opinion abundantly clear.

FunkyPix2 is always fair and balanced, so here's a photo of Howard chasing Rudd. (Gotta keep all these "Get-Rich-Quick" Christian war-monger right-wingers happy). Meanwhile, cartoonists are having a field day:

Most Coalition MPs are only supporting Howard because they think they can't afford to be seen to change sides - even if they trample on their own social consciences. Tony "The Priest" Abbott is the chief arse-licker of that smarmy pro-Howard white-shoe brigade.

................ Oi oi oi? Has Howard lied about his age?
........................ He's lied about everything else.

Ducklips Howard can't even lie straight in bed anymore: he's too old, fossilized and inflexible. In addition, Mrs Howard can't stand his chainsaw snoring nor his screaming nightmares of being chased by thousands of headless Iraqi children. (Besides, the bloodstains are difficult to remove from the hand-woven Persian rug next morning).

During parliamentary tea-breaks Howard has fantasy daydreams about being punished:
"I've been a VERY BAD BOY, Mistress Julia... please walk all over me and give me severe electoral shocks."

........... (Apologies to the artist Boaz Arad, whose original featured a dead Hitler
....................... ...but
a living Howard is much scarier.)

Howard's youth was straight, boring, and ultra-nerdy. You'll note that nothing has changed. The highlight of his week as a young man was to listen to the latest Pat Boone record, or go to the chaperoned Church dance in his long socks on a Saturday night (when his mum would let him). And that was only after he turned 30. The guy only left home when he was 32!

Now Howard's intending to make up for lost time during his Golden Years by lavish jet-setting with the cool Formula-1 crowd and fast women:

Bong on, dude. Howard's got plenty of stashed taxpayer $$$ so won't have to rely on Centrelink like so many of his former subjects. But he'll never understand the crowds of young people demonstrating outside his high-security Retirement Village:

Why don't they like war? It's SO profitable. Stupid young nerds. Should get a real job. Hrrmph.
So, Ladies and Jellyspoons, by way of a Grand Farewell, pull out your hankies out and listen to Rubber-Ducklips Howard sing a heart-breaking version of 'Yesterday'. .[flash animation by Nicholson]

GoodNIGHT, John.

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