29 February, 2012

Jaipur Literary Festival 2012, then a whistle-stop tour of southern India


During our recent trip to the Jaipur Literary Festival (followed by a 3-week spin around southern India and Orissa), Marie was blessed by a temple elephant of Hindu persuasion. But first she had to pay the wee beastie a two rupee coin: see the above pic. If you would like to see how the elephant completed its holy duties, read on. But do make yourself a coffee first - there are three Episodes.

Click to continue to Episode 1 (from Kolkata to the Jaipur Festival. When you get to the end of that page, you'll be offered the next link to continue on to Episode 2, and so forth).

(If you happen to prefer to skip ahead without first seeing Jaipur, you can go direct to either

Episode 2  (Goa, Hampi, Bangalore, Mysore)
m or
Episode 3  (Kollam, Trivandrum, Madurai, Trichy, Rameswaram, and Puri).

(Any link in funkypix2 will open in its own new window for your convenience).

12 January, 2012

Dear Chiangmai Diary - our Capitalist Elitist politically-correct edition

Chiangmai's iBerry mega-mutt has acquired sunnies.
    
Dear Reader, this post is a just a rag-tag collection of Updates and Oddities from our home-base in Chiang Mai for your visual delectation and delight. After this, I'll moth-ball FunkyPix2 until we get back from our forthcoming trip to southern India. Yep, Marie feels the urge to sample some Ganesh Chaturthi, Churmi Laddu, Puli Keerai and other dishes so familiar to you all.
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While we're on the topic of large animals, here's a nauseating sight from the local department store in Chiangmai:
Better than the Chiangmai Night Safari, actually...
...less smelly, and free.
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...and now for the Chiangmai Weather Report. Here's another scattered storm, seen from our balcony. This one missed us...
That's our kitchen window on the right.
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All you weird foreigners, like those Strayans in the remote colony Deown Under can marvel at the following disaster msg I got on my iPhone a few weeks ago. Melbournites should maybe consider asking Ms Gillard for disaster relief funds, come July, based on the Thai precedent:
Thaivisa.com is a useful news source for expats in or out of Thailand.
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...and while we're in the political Twittershere, here's an iPhone screenshot of a "say-it-all" tweet from wlfriends.org:
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"It is the absolute responsibility
of everybody in uniform to
disobey an order that is
either illegal or immoral".
(US General Peter Pace, Feb 17, 2006).
Therefore, all charges against Bradley Manning
and Julian Assange have to be dropped.
They deserve a Nobel Peace Prize, not that
disappointing drone-monger Berreck Obomber.
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I just cannot let the racist Australian Liberal Party MP Theresa Gambaro get off scott free for accusing migrants of having body odour and needing to be trained to stand in queues. She's the party's Citizenship Spokesperson, for goodness sake! For such hatespeak, may her political career go rapidly south, despite her belated attempt at an apology. It showcases her fundamental lack of understanding of her job. May I politely remind Ms Gambaro that Australia welcomed new European arrivals, some of whom were probably named Gambaro, to Australia in the post-WW2 decade. As a child, I recall the taunts and name-calling ('dagos', and later, 'wogs' etc) along with cruel accusations of garlic-breath from then-new strange foods like pizza, lasagne and spaghetti, without which Australians of 2012 would all but starve to death. Back in the fifties and sixties, Italians were also unfairly singled-out for their body-odour. One generation on, and nothing has changed. Racist John Howard re-ignited it. Racist mud sticks. FAIL.
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This mini-poem (by Leonard Robbins) succinctly makes the point:
How a minority
Reaching majority
Seizing authority
Hates a minority.
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 I also remind the good readers of Funkypix2 that Australia is the only country in the world where the word 'Liberal' means 'Conservative'. In fact, the very name "Liberal Party" is a Big. Fat. Lie. But one might expect no less from a corporate suck like Tony Rabbit. I only wish I could un-see that disgusting image of Mr Rabbit in his Speedos. Never again, please... just don't.
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OK, politics finished! On with matters more domestic. Thailand's economic recovery is being led by secondhand dress/bag/shoes sales:
Marie volunteered to assist at a Thai friend's market stall. It all rapidly outgrew the umbrella, but mâi bpen rai, it was a fine day anyway, chok-dee ca. The ghost of the Funky Bitz North Queensland Marketing Empire lives on. And yeah, thanks, my back's recovered now.
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Speaking of commerce, a new dress shop opened on the ground floor of our condominium last week. Every good Thai shop needs to be consecrated by Buddhist monks, and we attended the ceremony:
Lots of chanting, food, prayers, food, incense, drinks, food, prayers, then we finished with a big Thai meal in case any passers-by felt hungry. An elderly Japanese couple had turned up for the proceedings in their little white jalopy:
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Undoubtedly, having a big Mitsuoka Sports parked immediately outside might well help to attract promising financial karma to the shop. The owners weren't reticent about telling everyone how much their car cost, either. A paltry 3.5 million Baht... or was it Yen? Hell, who cares? [pout]. We're now members of the OCCUPY HUAYKAEW ROAD MOVEMENT.  Please donate to our cause... we wanna join the Nouveau One-Percenters. Yeah, sure, our other car is a Honda Jazz, fully equipped with steering wheel and cigarette lighter that works, so there... even though we [ahem] don't even smoke. Ain't Capitalism grand?
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Nic and Joe, still proudly in the 99%, are here for a few months to work. Here they are at Chiang Dao in a staff meeting, being photographed incognito with their iced mango juices by the FunkyPix staff photographer:
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...and here's the view of Chiang Dao mountain from their breakfast table - yes, I agree, it was a rather smoggy day. Farmers, as usual at this time of year, had been burning off old stubble in rice paddies:
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Of course, when at Chiang Dao, do visit the limestone caves:
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South of Maesai there is a temple cave with the usual de rigeur covered staircase leading up the mountain to the cave. But what particularly caught our eye was the unexpected crowd of people grimly hanging on by their fingernails from the Buddha statue on top of the pillar.
My oh my, Enlightenment sure is hard-earned if you're a 99-percenter:
(You can embiggen any photo by clicking on it)
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Ta-daaa !!!
Episode Two of the Redshirt Army Propaganda Chronicles:
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(Sound FX: threateningly low-pitched sub-tone to play during this paragraph)
It was previously spotted outside Thaksin Shinawatra's Silk Shop near our condo. This time the dreaded Redshirt rickshaw, still festooned with pictures of the new (Redblouse?) prime minister Yingluck Shinawatra, made a cameo appearance at Chiangmai's "Three Kings" monument, perhaps in an attempt to score good historical karma. Ah, but serendipity had cunningly conspired to park it next to a politically loaded NO LEFT TURN sign. Not only that, but also in a NO PARKING zone, as designated by the red/white kerb. Curiously, as suggested by Thai legal precedent, it's OK to break the law if you are a bonafide member of the Shinawatra clan ...or on its defacto payroll (aka "perhaps-to-be-rewarded-later-after-the-boss-gets-back" list).
(Sound FX fade out)
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Meanwhile, back at home on our balcony, our marble statue of the Quan Yin [goddess of mercy] has finally got its act together and started giving the thirsty naga-dragon its long-awaited drink:
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Finally, for your eternal amusement, we present some odd sights spotted around Chiangmai:
"...and your final destination today, sir?"
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"Ground differs level" (code for 'ramp')
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"Partridge eggs". Possibly Quail? Any other bids?
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...and welcome to Nature In Motions, the logical sequel to Poo Mobile:
Coin-in-the-slot "Santa Crore" stays there all year,
but the Muzak continues to crank out carols only until about June.
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Seize you later, after we gets back from outback India.

05 December, 2011

Bangkok, the 2011 floods, and premonitions of a watery Armageddon

    
 This recent photo is a sadly humorous hint of the looming threat to Bangkok's very existence. Bangkok's Watery Doom may well creep up silently in the next 10 years, perhaps 15 (if luck holds). The city is only one metre above sea level (on average), and has been sinking by about 10cm per year. Oh bittersweet Arithmetic! thy name spells Truth.
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If you click on this link, you will get an interactive flood map (flood.firetree.net) which will look something like this:
(You can biggen any photo by clicking on it)
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Your family can have hours of fun mercilessly flooding the entire city of Bangkok with whatever depth of water you choose. Whee! It's just as if you're playing some silly computer game, except that, like, this is for real, dude...  The map represents average Sea Level under normal conditions at present. But with a mere click of your mouse, you can raise Sea Level by any depth you dictate - simply click the drop-down menu at the top left of your screen. Watch what happens to the entire Bangkok river delta. Ouch.
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Note, though, that some areas on the coast near Bangkok, notably Samut Sakhon and Samut Prakan, are already regularly under seawater at high tides. They're an omen of things to come.
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 Or you can zoom in to visit whichever specific part of Bangkok you want to inundate. To zoom in to the glitzy shopping tourist area around Pathumwan, Silom and Siam Square, for instance, click the + (the slider at the top left corner of the map) about 4 or 5 times.  You'll arrive at a screen which looks like this:
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 You may notice, however, that the deeper you click your desired flood-depths, the more the central area of Bangkok (around Pathumwan, Silom, Siam Square, etc) appears to remain stubbornly and reassuringly dry. But no, it's not perched on a hill, nor protected by dyke walls à la Holland. Even if you increase flooding to, say, as much as TWENTY metres deep, there are still apparently some spots which remain dry! 
So... can the technology be so wrong??
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 Simple explanation: the central city area is extremely highly built-up, with large trees frequently filling gaps between buildings. The mapping satellite necessarily understands the tops of these buildings and treetops as representing ground-level, thereby considerably under-estimating realistic flood depths. Only in larger open flat areas - such as Benjakiti Park (just to the east of Lumphini Park) - is the terrible and soggy truth more accurately revealed. Some twenty million environmental refugees may need to re-locate - quite soon. That's a monumentally more massive evacuation than George Dubya Bush's tiny dress rehearsal at New Orleans.
George? Remember George?
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 Many people - initially those with means - are already choosing to abandon Bangkok in search of drier areas. Prices for nearby elevated land - what there is of it - are truly skyrocketing out of reach of all but the One-Percenters. One of the logical and eligible new places to colonize, at first glance, might appear to be Kanchanaburi, to Bangkok's north-west. But that may well be a case of "out-of-the-frying-pan-into-the-fire". Kanchanaburi is on a known earthquake fault-line, yet boasts a huge dam whose wall is already visibly damaged. A major breach could wipe out no fewer than 13 provinces, including Bangkok. The wall is rated as "safe" only for quakes up to 7.5 on the Richter Scale.  Er, now what were those principles we were supposed to have learned from Fukushima?
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But do I note (with some surprise, I must confess) that the Thai parliament has (as I suggested back in 2007) cautiously raised the sensitive possibility of re-locating Bangkok in its entirety - wow. At last, someone's waking up! A move like this, as it happens, would actually be a continuation of an ancient Thai tradition. The Thai capital has been shifted several times over its history (eg Sukhothai, Ayuthaya, etc), but that was well before the era before concrete skyscrapers, Skytrains and other recent idiosyncracies such as "permanency". Traditional Thai teak houses were once designed without nails to be dimantle-able and easily relocated. I suspect this latest timid hint about shifting Bangkok will promptly get shunted sideways - these are fragile political/economic times. Sure, the proposal seems to have submerged into political oblivion already - it's all too hard - but there can be no doubt that the 2011 Big Flood will change the Thai national conversation forever.
Besides, there will soon be precious little choice.
 Ironically, a traditional symbol threading itself through the silken fabric of Thai
society is that of the Boat. Bangkok in particular used to be very much a water-
based culture ('Venice of the East'), with food-vendors paddling canoes from house
to house along endless networks of canals. These days, antique "noodle-vendor
canoes" are frequently featured in restaurants, even way up on dry land, as
prestigious historical evidence of the establishment's 'food pedigree'.
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OK... let's talk Causes.  Why does Bangkok flood?
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Firstly, filling in Bangkok's networks of canals to create roads was a bad call - FAIL - and has contributed in no small part to the city's current flood woes.  These days, floodwater now has nowhere to spread out when a monsoon flood does come down the river delta - as it always has - from the north. Bangkok was built on a huge swampy drain, let's face it (another bad call: FAIL). Suvarnaphumi Airport, for example, was built on an area formerly known as 'Cobra Swamp' (nŏng nguu hao). It is still one of the lowest areas in all Bangkok, but now has a 3.5 metre dyke wall all round to keep floods out (and the cobras in??).
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Secondly, unregulated massive pumping up of groundwater (for both commercial and domestic use) is contributing to the entire cityscape sagging loosely downwards under its hugely heavy load of concrete and steel... FAIL. (Get a load of this pic of the Skytrain near Siam Square, or here at Ratchaprasong intersection. Imagine the foundations). Bangkok literally floats on a giant waterbed - Thai people are quite blasé about fresh cracks appearing in walls or floors... mâi bpen rai.
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And thirdly (but hardly least), do I need to mention those pesky rising sea-levels due to Global Warming?  Note also that Bangkok's Chao Phrya river is tidal for quite some distance inland, therefore can virtually stop flowing at times of very high tides, thereby severely increasing the back-flow into the few remaining canals. Even back in 1992, while I was staying at a friend's house in Bangkok, he warned me that the downstairs toilet only flushed properly at low tide... and yep, you bet, that failed too :-(
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So - how much longer can Thai people continue to look away, citing Severe Chronic Cognitive Dissonance Syndrome? Bangkok, which is slowly succumbing under this gigantic environmental pincer effect, is even now being unwillingly forced to revert to its traditional boating habits:
What will this Bangkok street look like by 2020?
Hey, but at least canoes don't emit CO2   ;-)
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After you're done flooding Bangkok, why not navigate the map
to check the flood status of your own country/town/street?
Good luck (in Thai: chok-dee).
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25 August, 2011

Dear Thailand Diary...

Camel Inactive.  This weird papier-mache beastie confronted us for a few weeks as we
did our twice-daily Jolly Geriatric Walk (Hobble?) around the nearby shoppimg centre.
Having just returned from an Oddysey in Rajasthan, it was all a bit too deja-pas-vu.
 jj
PS - I've created a new search category called "Dear Thailand Diary".
Stay-at-home posts such as this one can henceforth be conveniently found grouped
there, as distinct from those under "Thailand Culture"or "Travels Outside Thailand". 
See all your search options under "Browse by Category" in the sidebar >>>
 jj
We've actually stayed put in Thailand for a few consecutive months now... almost a record for unrepentant travel-addicts such as we. Various friends and family have been a part of it all, and our collective misdeeds are documented below in a scrambled sort of fashion for your amusement/amazement...
 Kuhn Anna prepares her trusty iPhone for her fearless assault on Bangkok's 84-storey Baiyoke Tower. Yep, amazing how all the abseiling ropes can get squeezed into such a tiny device - and she still managed to txt msg us on the way down.
Then she donned her pith helmet, climbed aboard a water-buffalo, and went exploring the 700 year old ruins of Sukhothai, one of Thailand's numerous former capitals:
...and at Si Satchanali, site of some of Asia's most ancient pottery kilns:
 Walking under the belly of the giant elephant (at the northern town of Denchai) traditionally confers great powers on you. Mr Thaksin always made a point of doing it oh-so-humbly, but only ever bothered if TV cameras were rolling.
 And speaking of Matters Political, here are a few of the posters from the recent election. Yup, things are different in Thailand...

(Our visiting friends Kevin and Trish learned a few important political
pointers which I trust they plan to transmit to Australia's Mr Rabbit.)


Sure, Thailand now has yet another government it deserves. But until the Thai education system undergoes a transformation and weans its students off rote-learning in favour of analysis and critical thinking, simplistic unfundable campaign promises from both parties will continue to sway sucker voters. How about a 25% increase in the basic wage? Yeehah, why the hell not? Or maybe free tablet computers for 800,000 children. Yippee, freebies! Duh, and when all the cheering died down after the election, somebody noted that there was no porn filter, and, um, who was gonna pay for those increased wages? Stay tuned for the predictable back-flips, folks.

Now the new PM is caving in to pressure from Redshirts to restore the 1997 constitution. This parallels the urge of Australia's former Howard government to return to the 1950s...
...and another iconic Thai metaphor, just for good measure:
I have to admit, though, that the chaos is fun. There's always a surprise around the next corner:

Internally-illuminated statues near Chiangmai's 700 year-old Suan Dtok gate.

We took a short holiday from retirement at Hua Hin beach (about 2 hours drive south of Bangkok). Ostensibly the sea air was to help Marie to recover from a viral flu, but in truth it was mostly an excuse to get back to the superlative seafood buffet (drool) overlooking the beach at the Sofitel Resort:
M had a Gothic Moment in the lobby while recovering from the meal:
On our walks we noted that the old Huahin is fast disappearing. It used to be principally a fishing village - now it's morphing into a tourist town with fishermen attached. Traditional teak houses like this one are rare now...
...while German, Danish and Scandanavian cultures are swamping the scene (hey, when Russians and/or Israelis come en masse, we'll go elsewhere. Some Thai hotels at the tourist beaches already refuse entry to Israelis as they are frequently problematic).
mm
Yep, road signs are different in Hua Hin:
Alan, our sapphire-miner friend from Queensland, came on a 3-week dental holiday to the red north. Here he is at the Chiangmai Night Safari (he's the one in red):
...and went camping in a wee hoosie ('sala'):
...and visited Chiangmai's silver wat (Wat Srisuphan) with its regulation standing portrait of the King:
Marie's been going to Thai classes, and despite me trying to crib off her lessons, she's becoming completely incomprehensible to me. Phuut chaa-gwaa daai mai khrap? I'm just jealous. And lazy.
Here she is walkling to school while I continue to fritter my time away composing music - this is one of my infamous "Where's Wally" picture series:
You can biggen any picture by clicking on it.

Here's the view towards Doi Suthep from the same balcony. First dry, then wet'n'windy:



...but on calmer nights (when you sneak out for a snack at the fridge, for instance),it looks more like this from the kitchen:
[see more pix of the apartment and Marie's cave]
The balcony is our Social Central. Here's the occasion of Ronny's 80th birthday with a bunch of our Thai and Farang friends, with Ronny/Rani literally talking up a five-o'clock storm - which, because of R's eloquent oratory, no-one actually noticed:
In fact, the wet season is by far the best time of year for cool weather, flowering trees, avoiding crowds, etc. Just don't tell the tourists. We want it all for ourselves.
And being kept indoors on your 60th is the perfect excuse, of course, to whip up a mini-trifle:
...but you always have to be wary of raids from local ratbag sugarholic maniacs:
(burp)

The threateningly red colour of the cherries on the trifle proved to be an ominous portent of the radical redecoration of the King's portrait on Huaykeaw Road, as storm-clouds gather on the distant horizon. What is mean?  Passing in front is one of numerous new Fukushima refugees, gratefully lugging home some radiation-free shopping.
mm
Then we hopped a passing Lao Airlines twin-prop for the 1-hour flight from Chiangmai to Luangprabang for a quick sandwich:
On the approach to Luangprabang, formerly the French colonial administrative capital.
The river is the Mae Naam Khan, which feeds nearby into the Mae Khong.

Sisavangvong St, the main drag, hasa few more lights at night now, but they're all provided by privately-owned restaurants and shops, not government streetlights. Ironic, that, for a country which promotes itself as Asia's 'generator'. Huuuuge amounts of cash goes into the Lao government's pockets from selling hydro-electricity to Thailand, but ordinary citizens in the burbs continue to rely on self-funded kersene/candle-power and early bed-times.
The night-market carries on as usual.
 A nearby building site uses thin strips of bamboo as internal reinforcement for a new concrete floor.
Maybe they couldnl't afford rio bar due to corruption expenses.

Outside our hotel ('Luangprabang Residence'... excellent) was a daily morning market selling all manner of veg and meats, including live eels and frogs, unidentifiable parts of un-named animals, plus a clearly identifiable calf foetus, complete of course:

 A child enjoys the sensations of paddling his toes among a seething mass of squirming eels.

 A signature Laotian condiment is the so-called Buffalo Jam. Help yourself to packets
 of dried buffalo skin, the key ingredient. Hey, it works for me... quite nice, actually.

 Off to school again, this time to a class in Laotian cookery. Marg and Andy happened to be there. The chef is closely inspecting how Marie is folding her spring rolls... perhaps he's picking up some tips:




 (Beware the scarecrow in the fake rice paddy... he reputedly adores sweet & sour fish)

 Laotian Desserts 101.  Sticky rice with mango. We pigged out over lunch.

That evening we ate out... no we didn't cook it... local specialty dishes inclding a rather tasty Mae Khong Terapia:

Watch this space [----------] for a link to our forthcoming trip to Oz.
Oo-roo, seer mite.