21 May, 2007

Chiangmai Rocks. Slight earthquake wobbles the Golden Triangle region

The earth moved for us the other day. Measured 6.1 on the Richter scale. But it was more side-to-side than the photo would have you believe.

Earthquakes are fun for the entire family. Try to imagine that wild giddy sensation in the eyes after a few red wines. Now attempt to balance on a large floppy dead squid while standing upright in a small dinghy.

The brain takes a while to figure out what the hell’s going on - for the first 10 seconds (out of the total of about 30+ seconds) it interprets the wobbles as your own unsteadiness. You must be drunk. Your brain knows for certain that the earth can’t move, so it must be yourself doing the moving, yes? Then you notice the study door over there is swinging to and fro through an arc of about 2” either way, and it ain’t me shakin' it. So you relay that new information to your brain.

Now your brain re-calculates that it’s actually the world doing the moving. Immediately, you feel less drunk. OK, now WTF was Step 1 in the Earthquake Manual again? Aw, forget books, we’d better make it up as we go. Grab the mobile. Head for a safe spot. Hear a cracking sound. Jesus on a bicycle, where’s a safe spot…? …should have thought about it before this. Run round in circles for another 20 seconds until it’s stopped wobbling and creaking. In those 20 seconds of (clearer?) thought you’ve selected and rejected about 10 possible ‘safe’ spots where furniture or objects can’t fall on you. Take the laptops, lock the door, head downstairs – literally, not in the lift – and scoff a debriefing O.J. from the drink-stall across the road. Expecting aftershocks. The vendor, accustomed to things like this, says they only felt the quake ‘nit-noy’, so the movement was obviously amplified by our location 15 floors up.


An ancient Asian device for detecting tremors.
Finely balanced balls would drop from the dragon’s mouthes.


Apparently a few more bricks and bits of plaster rattled off the ancient Wat Chedi Luang in Chiangmai. See it while you can.
We get asked all the time if we’re at risk from tsunamis here. The answer is that we’re 1100 metres above sea level, and an hour’s flight from the coast. However, we’ve discovered the real reason for the 2004 Asian Tsunami – it was tourists like this:

...but we've moved into a new house, just to be sure...


…and (of course) FunkyPix2 can always spot a marketing opportunity:

I found this website in which the (American) author describes what is thought necessary to survive an earthquake. Apparently you need packets of Oatmeal Cream Cakes. Check out the photos.

19 May, 2007

Gallery of unusual Body-Art: tattoos, body-modification, plastic surgery and piercing

Mildly amusing but tame ones for starters. FunkyPix2 is a family-friendly site, so NO, we don’t do mutilation: you can google that up yourselves, sickos :-)

For those who are seeking ideas on self-beautification, here’s an array of ideas to provoke creative thought. We begin nice and easy then get more interesting:



More about permanently anchored spectacles.

More about eyeball jewelery set inside the eyeball.


Start ‘em way young, we reckons.


PRINCE HARRY has another bad hair day

Henry Charles Windsor (AKA Prince Harry)

It is difficult to believe the Brits could have shot themselves in the foot as disastrously as this. Preparing the turd-in-line to the throne for deployment to Iraq, and then changing their minds… it’s like admitting to the ‘enemy’ (whoever they are) that the Brits are losing the war (which they are). It’s handed them a propaganda victory on a plate.

To commemorate this right royal cock-up, FunkyPix2 presents a short photo-essay describing Harry’s life story. It’s entitled “A Wreck to Iraq”, and it all begins when young Harry was but a young lad[begin harp music, dissolve and fade, etc]…

Harry was given all the toys he ever wanted. But he felt there was something missing in his life.

Harry wanted to spend his pocket-money cheques at War-Mart where he got all clued up about ideologies of mass slaughter. He discovered with ghoulish delight that the British Government ran a massive weapons manufacturing industry, one of the world's largest. He immediately decided that he, too, wanted to maintain the proud tradition and kill people as an honorable career.

In school plays, he always sought heroic dashing roles…

…and he watched Laurence Olivier with envy. “One day when I'm growed up, I too will travel on a glorious Crusade to the Muddle East”, he swore.

When Bigger Harry finally entered real Soldier School, he was given cushy jobs away from danger. Here he pretends to enjoy guard duty next to the officers’ precious coffee machine. He already sensed something was wrong.

However, his trainers recognised his personal need for hero status and virility in the public eye.

During training, Harry made a few mistakes, just like any rookie. Here he checks the handbook to see what he should have done: “Oh yes, here we are – page 26... Stamping on landmines is an ineffective defusing technique. Not recommended”. Hmm, OK.

Harry’s new family wanted to bundle him off to Iraq as quickly as decently possible.

Harry's housemaid harem - plus some cynical bloggers - suspected that Harry had known all along that he would never be allowed to go to Iraq. This Palace cover-up conveniently freed him up to bluster publically about not being afraid to die in Iraq.

Iraq or bust. He knew in his heart that even a stunt like this wouldn’t work.

But Harry was finally discouraged by this love letter from Moqtada al Sadr, plus a gory photo of the bottom half of the face of his best soldier buddy, slipped quietly under the royal bedchamber door one evening by his team of butlers.

His mates all called him a wuss, but his granny stuck up for him. Harry, unlike a lot of other young Brits who went holidaying in Basra, still has arms and legs… and the ears which Mr Moqtada had kindly offered to remove.

17 May, 2007

COSTELLO’S 2007 FEDERAL BUDGET:
"Let them eat damper"

Costello slam dunks - but Australia is in line to lose the series.

Costello’s big number-crunching is designed to appear very savvy. The average Australian might feel as though the guy is in control of the financial helm because somehow, magically, he can rake in big bucks while they’re still doing it tough at the coalface.

Success is interpreted as a bloke thing, macho. In the short term, sure, he’s rolling in dough – your dough – but it’s a campaign manipulated and stage-managed by spin-merchants in the Coalition’s back-rooms. Front-man Costello’s counting on public myopia and apathy to pull off massive electoral deceit.


If things don’t go well for him, Howard the chameleon will probably announce late in the election campaign that he intends passing the baton to his little pet Costello ‘sometime’ during his next term. Costello’s on the nose, rather.

All that matters for this December’s election is that the Coalition rabbit is seen to pop out of the hat. It’s Costello’s best – and only – shot at the top job, so he and his mate Ducklips Howard will change colours like the proverbial chameleon if necessary. Costello and his tunnel-vision ambition will do anything to achieve it – anything - including pulling the wool over voters’ eyes about the country’s strong economic position. Ambition’s like that… selfish and ruthless, and it would be naïve to trust otherwise.

For instance, Costello glossed over the fact that Australia is still living on borrowed money - a whopping 5.7% of GDP is still owed to foreign debt, which even the alleged resources 'boom' is unable to repay. You, therefore, are slaving half-an-hour out of every 8-hour day just to pay the interest on Peter Costello's debt, let alone your own:


Costello wants to create an impression that the process of boom creates jobs, which in turn create more jobs as people spend money. It’s tempting for Joe Blow to conclude that this apparently circular process might become self-perpetuating. Everyone fervently wills it to be so, just like the mythical perpetual-motion machine.

Belief in Perpetual Motion, however, is wooly thinking which falls into “The-Emperor-Has-No-Clothes” trap. What Costello won’t admit is that he is painting Australia into a suffocating corner by relying so heavily on the resources boom - and by basing its Budget projections on the assumption that the drought will break in 2008. Man, that’s what I call big stakes. Well may Howard encourage Australians to pray for rain.

The Australian Tax Office is watching YOU. Costello’s 2007 Budget is bulging with YOUR dollars because the government never fulfilled its erection promises to substantially reduce personal taxation once the GST kicked in. The GST was basically supposed to replace personal taxation. Yeah sure: Costello's raking in a double-whammy. Yoo-hoo, Petey, we’re still on 30% out here in voter-land, mate!


More than ever before, Australia is a farm and a mine. But with water rapidly becoming extinct, mines are seizing the baton. No wonder Howard wants to mine uranium. Rudd was correct when he asked “After the resources boom, what then?” He’s exactly targeted the Budget’s Achilles Heel – and Australia’s - but gets little credit for thinking past the horizon of the next election.


Howard and Costello have cleverly blinded the public to their own plight by effectively removing Unions and Collective Bargaining from the stage. I'm relieved by Greg Combet’s grand entry at Stage Left, too – Greg’s a an intelligent and clear thinker - but think he’s got as big a struggle against the new Howard-ized public attitude to Unions as he has against Howard himself. Greg, do a Hawke - but maybe leave out the Jewish fetish.

The other thing Costello’s minimizing is the fact that unemployment figures have been rigged to look their best until just after December’s election. Treasury admits it expects growth to slow: employment growth will hit a brick wall – slowly – because of a growing shortage of workers. (This explains the grudging relaxation of migrant quotas – skilled ones only, of course), viz:

One person’s Pillars-of-the-Establishment are another person’s dole-queue

Costello knows that employers already recognise that fact that there will be a shortage of workers after the election, so are therefore increasingly hiring full-time workers in anticipation of the shortage.


Worker shortage, you ask (raising your eyebrows)?? Yippee, wages will be going up! Not so. Treasury figures reveal that the extra money now in the system due to the resources boom is not filtering down into workers’ pay-packets. Wages have remained steady, against all predictions. Woo-hoo, sings Costello - more dosh for me. But FunkyPix2 is so not surprised – it’s the natural outcome of losing Collective Bargaining. Rescue the Unions, Sir Galahad Combet, and do it soon.

Behind Costello’s creepy snake-oil smirk, he knows full well that unemployment figures will not look as healthy next year, due to the government’s cold-blooded tightening of Centrelink rules. As a direct result of Howard’s “Welfare-to-Work” reforms, more people will be forced off Centrelink support and into the labor market. The government knows that these people (eg, the mentally and physically disabled, single parents, etc) will not be as attractive to employers. No disrespect intended – it’s just a grubby fact of life – but unemployment queues are expected to lengthen again in 2008.

Another day, another breadwinner goes down the tubes at the bankruptcy courts.

An impoverished beggar in AlexanDUH Downer’s electorate of Mayo

Did Costello even hint at this coming worker squeeze in his Budget speech? Does the Howard government really care if even more of its poorer citizens lose their livelihoods and homes as a result? Let them eat damper - on credit. That'll boost the banking sector. There is an unprecedented reliance on credit: it’s the easiest fall-back tactic to bridge and temporarily disguise the increasing chasm between rich and poor:

The temptation to put the Woolworths or Telstra bill on plastic is putting thousands of marginal mortgages at risk. The alluring panacea of credit is making the system is increasingly top-heavy, the same cause as the 1997 meltdown of the baht in Thailand:

At least the coming slowdown will mean that the Reserve Bank probably won’t have to cool the economy by raising rates. Some consolation for the victims who will have already lost their homes.


Don’t forget, either, that the work-force is shrinking due to the greying of the population. This is despite Mr Costello-Gollum sssuggesting sssmirkishly in 2005 that people consider ssstaying in the work-force into their ssseventies. That was an assstonishingly masssive U-turn from the days when the government itself was leading the rush to offer early retirement severance packages.


Hey, wake up and smell the coffin

Meanwhile, Mr Cossstello iss sssaving up hiss sssuper so he can retire comfortably…

…before any economic crash happens:


Well, that's the end of that barbie...

Update! June 7 2007: Costello has been crooning in his customary self-congratulatory way yet again. In this interview on ABC Radio he chooses his wily words with extreme care, mentioning only facts which show him in a good light. In my mind's eye, I see an image of Costello gingerly picking safe stepping-stones as he crosses a flooded creek. It's left to a commentator to point out that while company profits are at an all-time high, workers are getting less of the benefits than at any time before. Yet again, nowhere does anyone mention that the boom in household spending is being fuelled by credit. That extra money isn't coming from wages, after all.

How do you spell B-U-B-B-L-E ? Answer: refer to the photo of the truck, above.


Oh dear, what a negative doomsday article. In real life I’m a bubbly optimist by nature, but from here in Thailand I sometimes cast my eyes toward Straya’s dire situation with some alarm. I don’t think I’m entirely unjustified. Well, I’m off to have a spicy chicken Tom Yum ;-) bye