24 April, 2007

John Ducklips Howard fiddles while Australia burns: Criminal Negligence?

Shopping in Sydney’s Sans Souci district in 30 years from now. At least you won’t have to worry about parking meters. A ridiculous scenario, you scoff?
Well, check this
NASA-Google Global Warming FLOOD-MAP. When it opens, look for Sans Souci (towards the bottom of the map), then click on “Sea Level Rise +14 metres” (the outcome of the melting of both Polar Caps).

Some aussies must get confused about this Global Warming thing. On one hand they’re routinely confronted with images of scary floods deeper than Noah’s, then the next minute John Ducklips Howard warns there’s a record drought with water rationing and looming food shortages.

Some images suggest dry and hot… and others the exact opposite.

A moment’s reflection plus some basic scientific information could quickly reconcile this apparent contradiction. Nevertheless, I wouldn’t be too surprised if Dopey Ducklips suggested cooling Global Warming by triggering a Nuclear Winter if he thought it meant more profits for his buddies in the stock-market:

"We'll all be rooned," said Howardrahan,
....In accents most forlorn,
Outside the church, ere Senate began,
....One dustbowl Sunday morn.

His candidates all stood about,
....Sweat dripping from their ears,
And talked of votes - just votes, not drought,
....As they had done for years.

"It's lookin’ cool," spake Malcolm T;
...."It’s not so cruke, me lad,
For now the dollar’s floating free
....Me portfolio's not so bad."

"It's dry, all right," sang Peter G,
....With which astute remark
He squatted down upon his knee
....And chewed a piece of bark.

And so around the chorus ran
...."It's keepin' dry, no doubt."
"But we'll all be rich,"
said Howardrahan,
...."Before the year is out."

........................................(with apologies to Mr
J. O’Brien)

Howard’s continued insane companyspeak about the economy (=corporate profits) being more important than the "unproven" threat of Climate Catastrophe is incredible not to mention criminally negligent, but not unexpected from such a right-wing extremist. (Does he still sleep OK at night?)

In the next breath Ducklips is giving a grim-reaper press conference, warning that Australia might soon need to buy food from overseas to survive. He’s not talking in terms of 5- or 10-year planning horizons, but 2 or 3 MONTHS. He remains so-o-o-o cool in the face of this self-inflicted Armageddon, that icicles wouldn't melt off his duck-beak. Ladies and Jellybeans, FunkyPix2 suggests you should proceed to

(...but remember – there’s a feral election later this year)

FunkyPix2’s Chiangmai agent gears up to export noodles to Australia.

If Australia is forced to buy food from overseas, market economics will dictate that food will be imported from the cheapest source – and that’s likely to be Asia, given its proximity. That will surely signal a major policy problem for Howard’s New Racist Australia. I’m sure some xenefoodic Australians (Species Homo Cronullis) won’t tolerate food produced by dirty scumbag Asians.

“I’d rather eat local cane-grubs”, one angry Townsville woman snorted. “You’d never bloody know what sorts of contaminated bloody tucker they might bloody send over here, eh. Youse can’t bloody trust no-one who ain’t no bloody Aussie, eh. They’re all bloody diseased over there, eh. Third-world country an' all that, eh.”

“Tucker” is Australian slang for food; “bloody” does not normally refer to blood but is a culturally prescribed meaningless adjective placed routinely before any noun or verb in order to establish one’s social dominance. The suffix "eh" is commonly applied due to lack of self-confidence about one's facts, and the desire to garner support from the listener.

The fact that many Australians (like we FunkyPixers) actually live in Asia, and haven’t yet died gruesome salmonella-riddled deaths, may have momentarily escaped the good lady’s attention.

Now, in true FunkyPix2 tradition, here are some nice pictures about the coming Climate Catastrophe for light family entertainment:

Howard's ill-informed weakling response to Climate Catastrophe

The same glacier in 1935 and 2005

The funniest picture of all: the Darling River at Mildura.

Ducklips feeling the heat?

P.S: The amazing NASA-Google flood-maps for the whole planet have a permanent place among the links on the right-hand side of your FunkyPix2 screen.

Why not check how your own city or town will cope when the polar caps melt. You can choose your continent, select a format of satellite photo or streetmap (or a hybrid of the two), zoom in to a town or street, then gradually flood it with up to 14 metres of water. This would be the depth if both polar caps were to melt entirely, as is already happening on both Earth and Mars.

No comments:

Post a Comment