PANDA PORN: tips from the Singapore government’s Baby Bonus scheme

Panda pop groups are growling sexy lyrics in the
attempt to rouse their furry audiences into wild lusty sex.

Zoos around the world are trying to encourage Pandas to boost their declining birth rate, which has dropped alarmingly.

It is hoped that showing them panda porn videos will help the penny drop for the boy pandas, who appear to be slow to learn. FunkyPix2's resident Panda psychologists suggest they may have been sexually abused as cubs.

"All I need is a cold bamboo juice and a
RRR-video, mate. Hubba-hubba!".

Some bears are even being sent to Singapore for fertility and hormone treatment. The Singapore government’s $300 million Baby Bonus scheme has a clause to include pandas IF they have Visas.
Visas can be fast-tracked on private application to lee@singtel.sg

The Raffles-Lee Hotel offers a super-luxury Panda Honeymoon Suite ($980 per night) with free chilled spa. It features Mongolian Muzak, soft lights, bamboo-buffet room service, and very discreet staff.

(Somehow I don't feel quite right watching this...)

. . . but Singapore's approach clearly WORKS:

. . . and everyone goes apeshit about the cubs:

. . . then Singapore gets flooded by refugee pandas
hoping for the same deal:

...but the sad conclusion to this beautiful fairytale is that there are now far too many pandas (and rabbits and puppies, not to mention a number of rare pandephants with funny long noses). Many are being deported against their will to Christmas Island.

...and finally, the merchandise you've all been waiting for...

The FunkyPix2 & Singapore Airlines

Panda Duty-Free Catalogue

Panda Sexy Soxies

(sold only as a pair).

XXXL only.

.

..................................

Sexy Panda Playground Ride
Heavy duty!
Good practice at mounting and dismounting!
Keep fit!
The ultimate boy-toy for the Panda in your life.