27 July, 2007

XXOS ambulances for XXOS patients?
We survey some Melbourne punters

Now, in Melbourne, it looks like there might have to be specialist large size ambulances for obese patients over 200 kilograms [er, sorry, read: lightness-challenged.]

These ambulances would have to be supplied via private contractors who would charge a premium price for their specialist services. It's likely that Unions will not be happy.

FunkyPix2 surveyed a random sample of Melbournites and asked for their opinions:

Ms. Chlamidia Chunkster: "Don't really bother me no more, mite - I can't fit into me new car anyways. But I keep it to pose for photos".

Mr Noel Nerdley, a former Mr Universe 1971: "I'd fork out more for a bigger ambulance, but I'd expect better services too ...like minibar, and free internet on the way to hospital".

Mr H. T. Dumpty: "No point, buddy... I can't budge from my seat. I'd have to wait for a car to smash through the wall and hit me. Oi, pass the McNugget bucket, eh?

Mr Jum Bojangles: "OK, but do I get a discount if I provide my own crane?"

...and to be fair, here's me during my recent Superbowl debut: "I can still get into a tuk-tuk ...just. Ask about ambulances again in a year or so."

The Fastfood Industry is stepping up its anti-flab campaign in Oss-straya. There have even been reports of industrial espionage.

It's all a very long way from the early days when Ronald McDonald's great-great-great-great-grandparents set up this shop in the Oklahoma backwoods. Little did they suspect their popular raccoon recipes would have such a weighty impact on world history. Read what Prince Charles thinks of McDonalds.

Ambulance Centre snack bars will clearly have to cater for taller patients in future. Can't have discrimination against minority groups.

...and art galleries should be more understanding as well, providing seating at important places.

....... ...but at least biker clubs are taking, er, post-emptive action.

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