26 December, 2006

PROOF: Humans have shopped for at least 160,000 Christmases.

"I Shop, Therefore I Am."

In an area near Chiangmai in the remote north of Thailand, renowned archaeologist Professor Marieta Burrowenski has discovered rock art from the walls of what appears to be the remains of a pre-historic supermarket.

The remarkably well-preserved etching appears to depict a female person pursuing her prey in the Un-prepacked Meat Department. She does not approach the buffalosaurus directly but cleverly adopts a slow and meandering route, probably in an effort to avoid making the beast nervous.

This discovery reveals uncanny parallels with shopping styles in a modern day Thai shopping mall. Bangkok’s Mahboonkrong University has analysed shoppers’ skilful hunting behaviours which appear to tap into these same primal instincts. Present-day shoppers often appear to wander at random before finally bagging their prey.

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