Sister Mary: “Jeez, if I can’t be a priest, the least they
could do would be to offer me a position as Coach”.
The Vatican United Football Club has an infallible pedigree: Pope John Paul II was a competent Goalie in his youth. However, the current pope Benedict XVI is lagging a bit. Some years ago, when introduced to Pele at the Vatican, he enquired: “So you’re Brazilian?”. Cardinal Bertone plans, however, to launch the yellow & white God-Squad, complete with cruciform-shaped spriggs on their boots, as his very first Papal Edict after he is elected as the next pope. “The church can’t be hurried in its decisions,” he remarked. [Not wrong. Ed.]
As a pre-emptive political gesture, Benedict presented some of his priests’ children with a pre-blessed Papal football, but suggested afterwards that they would suffer for years in Limbo if they ever sold it on Ebay.
Another holy goal for Vatican United Under Eights.
Football's salvation is assured.
A less viable alternative would be to use the Vatican’s dome as a stadium roof. It is just wide enough to fit a football pitch inside using a suspended ceiling, but there wouldn’t be any seating space left over for the congregation of spectators.
Sports fans are agreed that when VUFC finally enters the football world, blasphemy during games would become a thing of the past. “They’ll be days of wine and Moses”, quipped the cardinal gaily. I bags being commentator. I shall endeavour to love mine enemy team as myself".
*and in BREAKING NEWS...
FunkyPix2 is encouraging the Vatican to field a Women's Basketball team and is providing advice on the proposed style of the outfits.
Motto? Score Goals for God!