07 October, 2006

LIMBO is coming onto the market soon

FP2 is considering tendering for the purchase of Limbo, now that the pope is about to scrap it. We will wait until we are assured of vacant possession, though, as a secondhand Limbo with that many goddam babies in it, all bearing grudges, would simply be a nightmare, let alone all the trillions of folks who had the poor judgement to die before Jesus came along and organised the cattleyards better. Hopefully, the pope will shunt all current residents off to heaven or elsewhere, and FP2 Inc can get on with renovating it and converting it into a flash top-end resort in Thailand (Perhaps with a 'retro theme'? Limbo, after all, was only a fairly recent theological invention... in the 13th century).

We were too slow off the mark when the previous pope decided (with a stroke of the quill) to abolish Hell, but this time we're onto it pronto. Limbo could prove to be a hot little deal too.

Names for our resort? Maybe Limbo Lodge. Nah… too stodgy… need something zappy and more marketable. Linger in Limbo…hmm, might scare off missionaries, after all, they’re likely to be the ones with the most bucks, so I suppose we’ll have to grit our teeth on that one.

Opportunities abound. Boy, think of the Fashion Label royalties. Think of the Movie… which could precede the bestseller Novel. The midday Soapie “Days of our AfterLives”. Thousands of cute pink or blue toy wings (with automatic press-button harp music) flying off the shelves of Toys ‘R’ Us… We’d need a staff choir… and of course Celestial Certificates to prove you’d stayed there… Limbo Limmos for those who want transport with style... and hell, think of all the non-christian clients who've always wanted to have an exotic foreign fling but never had the courage before...

FP2 announces a COMPETITION to name this heavenly resort. Your glittering prize? Eternal Fame and a gleaming brass plaque with your company logo right there near the Pearly Reception Desk. Why not write your suggestions in comments, just below here.
Correspondence may well be entered into… as this is Thailand, after all. Bank account # is 911-666, Bangkok Bank.

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