United Planets Building, Mars, August 12, 3006.
Martian scientists today announced that their expedition to the deserted planet Earth had discovered proof that there were once vast oceans covering two-thirds of its surface. Today in 3006 it is a dry ghost-hulk of a planet.
The new information confirms popular mythology which tells of Earth once being a blue planet, not brown. Observed patches of ‘cloud’ were not water vapour at all, but actually remnants of ancient bushfire smoke.
Asked what had caused the mass extinction of life on Earth, Martian scientists denied that it had been hit by a giant asteroid. Instead, they claimed, their probe had recently discovered irrefutable evidence of irresponsible leadership.
The space-probe’s robotic cameras had found a fossilized newspaper half-buried in dust, fortunately protected in what appeared to be an ancient bomb-crater. Cameras beamed images of the newspaper back home to to Mars where its script was de-ciphered, even though the final two lines had faded. It read:
The USA and Australia still refuse to
sign Kyoto Protocols on Climate Change.
Even up to January 2013, Howard suggests
building token Wind and Solar Farms instead of arranging
effective longer-term corrective solutions.
(Coal industry jobs must be protected in
marginal electorates, Howard continues to argue).
Martian scientists have hypothesised that there had been a previous mass extinction of dinosaurs on Earth several million years earlier, also attributable to massive climate change. It was clear, though, that none of the obvious lessons had been learned by the second generation of dinosaurs. Paleontologists believe they were much smaller, lacked tails, smoked, and walked on their hind legs.