Iran's President calls for a ban on the wearing of the Tie

Mr. T.B. Liar unrepentantly sports his old school tie: “I feel offended that they want to ban the Tie. I just can’t understand it. It's sheer demonisation."

Iran’s President Ahmadinejad has confided that he would prefer Christian men to remove their Ties when visiting Muslim countries. He labelled the Tie as an "inappropriate and threatening item of attire”.

As the Iranian parliament voted to outlaw the wearing of western-style Ties, there were angry protests by businessmen from London to Noo Yahk and Sinny. President Ahmadinejad spoke on Iranian TV, saying that he felt intimidated whenever he had to speak face-to-face with a Tie-wearer.

“Ties could quickly be removed and used to strangle people”, he noted. “No-one feels comfortable in the presence of a Tie-wearer. Ties are like an unspoken threat - they're bad for community cohesion due to lack of trust.”

“Ties are an unnecessary item of clothing, surely,” said Mr Ahbedinijad. “So why would a person wear one unless they had ulterior terrorist motives? Maybe they could conceal poison darts, or perhaps some type of long thin weapon,” he suggested with a flicker of a smile.

He was obliquely referring, of course, to FP2's notorious blog from 10 October (scroll down).

Jack Straw was not available for comment. He is welcome to comment anonymously right here ç on FunkyPix2.