05 October, 2006
BRAKING NEWS: Thaksin counter-coup foiled!
Top: Angry suicide-taxidriver rams Bangkok tank. The tank got a few scratches, but nothing a dab of genuine ShinCorp longan-based paint won’t soon fix.
Bottom: FP2 agents disable a tuk-tank. Bangkok residents can relax again.
Funkypix2’s special political reporter has uncovered a clandestine and dramatic plot by Citizen Thaksin to stage a comeback. His characteristically clever plan was to gather a number of armed tuk-tanks and faithful taxis at Bangkok's new airport, lead a heated honking charge into the city, then overpower the Siam Paragon Department Store by media-charm offensive.
However, Funkypolice have detained Thaksin in a secret US facility in the AWB headquarters, and he is “assisting our investigations”… legally, of course… we Allies subscribe to the Geneva Convention. Thaksin is also charged with attempting to extend his visa in England by doing multiple border runs to France.
FP2 can now reveal that the tuk-tuk in the photo was equipped with a previously unknown US-manufactured missile, the ‘Blogosphere-Buster’. FunkyPix's technician has now disabled the missile's Ebay cookies.
Yesterday, one of Thaksin's advance-party pranged his taxi into a tank as a media diversion. The taxi was daubed with spray-painted slogans in Thai proclaiming ‘martyring for the sake of the country’, etc. The hapless chap succeeded only in mangling his taxi plus a few ribs, not to mention making a complete goose of himself. Reckons he'd do it again. FunkyPix2 Interrogators have now decked him out with a stylish jump-suit in up-to-the-minute orange and a free Holiday in Cambodia.
In his time Thaksin really did win the support of many Bangkok taxi-drivers due to his dismantling of Bangkok’s corrupt “taxi mafia”… but I’ll let you guess by what means he achieved that.....
Well OK, here’s a wee hint: one of these options is not correct:
1. big bucks
2. bulk bahts
3. boundless bribes
4. logical forward planning, feasible alternatives, and sensible diplomacy