15 May, 2007

(as a Climate Change sceptic)

Pell is so conservative he probably doesn’t even change his socks.

So the Catholic Archbishop of Australia, our failed wanna-be pope, doubts that Global Warming is a serious threat, eh? Looks like he and I disagree on just about everything. In his recent article “Scaremongers”, Cardinal Pell reveals his hand: he’s the scientific equivalent of a Holocaust denier.

Dangerously reactionary, Sergeant Pell’s ultra-conservative 13th-century mindset is irresponsible to the billions of souls he purports to offer salvation. Ironically in the extreme, he labels climate canaries such as myself as “doomsdayers”.

I stoop to quote just one of his paragraphs from "Scaremongers":

A local newspaper editorial’s complaint about the doomsdayers’ religious enthusiasm is unfair to mainstream Christianity. Christians don’t go against reason although we sometimes go beyond it in faith to embrace probabilities. What we were seeing from the doomsdayers was an induced dose of mild hysteria, semi-religious if you like, but dangerously close to superstition.

Point 1: I’m not at all apologetic for being enthusiastic about protecting the planet. It’s the only one we’ve got at the moment. Call it religious enthusiasm if you wish – name-calling hardly matters in the face of apocalyptic climate catastrophe of Noah-esque proportions. Maybe Pell feels warm and fuzzy because god assured him there would never be another Noah-type flood. Maybe he doesn’t care because he reckons the End is Nigh anyway and his arse is covered… The very core of Christian conversion has always come down to threatening fear of Doomsday.

Point 2: Christians do go against reason. How else can you explain how otherwise intelligent people desperately wanting to believe obvious lies like virgin birth, the trinity and the resurrection? Everything that separates Christianity from Islam and Judaism is based on faith in those three fabrications. Reason simply doesn’t come into it. All three faiths worship the same god in every other respect. Want more Christian fabrications and webs of lies? Try Limbo. "Faith is believing what you know ain’t so": Mark Twain.

Point 3: Superstitious? Moi? I’m a secular Humanist, for chrissakes. Christianity, on the other hand, is riddled with superstition. How else could you explain the frenzy over sightings of bible characters in really odd places – like Jeshua Christ embalmed in a $15,000 piece of Ebay toasted cheese? Here are some more recent sightings that have devotees excited and reaching for their wallets:

Mary gets a good share of the market. Must have wealthy sponsors.

Must have been an unclean baptismal bath.
But WTF is that sitting on his head?
Secretly, this is another cameo appearance of myself -
but disguised under a healthy crop of hair.

A pre-natal ultrasound for someone called "Mary", I think.
On recollection, the lady did think the milkman's wings were unusual.

(oops... I think I left a few chisel marks near the mouth)

[comment deemed superfluous]

...but to be fair, Superstition does seem to be a human universal. Here are two fish spotted by a Muslim man in a Liverpool pet shop. One has markings which spell “Mohammed” in Arabic, the other “Allah”:

Islam can't represent faces, so writing is the only option. Then there was the celebrity rooster that saved its neck by squawking “Allah” in Arabic just in the nick of time. (Just hope it doesn’t teach the trick to Thanksgiving turkeys in America). And by the way, Elvis has been sighted for real in Thailand.

But I digress… Archbishop Pell’s contempt of humanity – already clear from his inflexible and uncaring stance on abortion – is highlighted by a recent report by
Christian Aid in England that half (repeat half) the world’s population will be short of drinking water by 2080. But Pell probably rejects that report too – Christian Aid is only Anglican, therefore lacks cred. He probably couldn’t care less that places like Bangkok are likely to be flooded by rises in sea-levels… after all, they’re only Asians “over there”, whereas the real threat of flooding in his own diocese of Sydney probably concerns him more. Parochial little mindset: Pell is a staunch supporter of Howard’s New Racism, his strongest comment being that he remains loudly silent about it.

“Nyah nyah, my robe’s bigger than yours!” .Pell frocks up well, doesn’t he? King George is strongly supported by a closeted group of gay priests who supposedly gain great pleasure by dressing up for high church rituals. If you want a civil conversation with Archbishop Pell, never pop the surprise question: “Who are the Spice Girls?”

Recommended Reading: 20 Reasons to give up Christianity

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