Courier Mail, January 8, 2025.
Premier Shane Warne predicted that the average Queensland family’s current monthly electricity bill of $2,344 would rise by 40% over the next year if a second nuclear power station were to be built in the Barron River Gorge in North Queensland. Such reactors had gobbled more than double the amount of water anticipated by scientists.
He said the first reactor built near Kuranda back in 2012 by the 6th Howard Government had already exhausted the water in the Barron River to the point where the Cairns Cricket Club was forced to import water by truck for its grass. “This is a disaster for all Queenslanders”, he claimed in parliament.
He also pointed out that Kuranda tourist numbers were dwindling because tourists are losing interest in watching historical films of the Barron Falls in flood. "These films are available on YouTube", he told the Costello News Network.
“Apart from that, there’s so little water left that Queensland farmers have mostly gone out of business. As a consequence Queensland is now having to import food from South-East Asia, so the average family’s monthly food bill is now topping $4,690.”
“The solution is simple”, he claimed. “Big tax incentives for families volunteering to euthanase grand-parents would significantly reduce demand for electricity, food and medical services.”
Senator Bindi Irwin was preparing the Bill to present to the Lower House next week. She was proposing a crocodile-led economic recovery. Euthanased grand-parents could be fed to crocodiles and sting-rays, promoting cheaper crocodile meat and a boost to the ailing hand-bag export industry.
Footnote: This last cartoon might reflect a grim humour surrounding the current climate debate, but technically it is not correct - Nuclear Fission Reactors actually require vast amounts of water, so would have to be located in the wetter regions of Australia (well, er, the less dry ones). Politicians need to be specific about such proposed locations. Prepare Ye for a spate of "not-in-my-backyard" spats.