22 March, 2007

ASYLUM AIRLINES targets the growing niche market for "failed asylum seekers"

In another textbook example of how it becomes necessary to disguise bullshit with yet more bullshit, have a look at the following article. Is this typical FunkyPix2 satire? ...or could it be really true?

........................ (OK, OK, I confess... the photo is fake).

Sydney Morning Herald, March 14, 2007.
So vast has the number of deportees from Europe become, that two enterprising businessman have hatched an extraordinary plan - a new airline exclusively for failed asylum seekers.

Asylum Airlines is set to be operative within three months, complete with padded rooms for troublemakers and meals - presumably with a halal option - for passengers.

The flights will journey around Europe, picking up failed asylum seekers from various countries and then dispatching them back to their home nations around Africa, the Middle East and Asia. Austrian deportation lawyer Hermann Heller and Austrian aviation consultant Heinz Berger told the Daily Express newspaper the new airline is in negotiations with several governments across Europe.

It was being promoted as a cost-efficient option for governments compared to the current arrangements on board commercial flights, with Britain reportedly spending STG315,000 ($A776,900) recently to deport just 15 Iraqis.

"Here in Austria, every time a deportee is sent home on a regular flight, they need three seats, not just for the deportee but for the policemen on either side," Mr Heller said.

"Many airlines have already stopped taking asylum seekers home because of unpleasant scenes. With a professional service the deportations will be faster, chains will not be needed and the deportees can enjoy a meal."

The planned flights will have guards, medical staff and a representative of a human rights group on board, though there is no immediate news of plans for in-flight entertainment or a frequent-flyer scheme.

FunkyPix2 salutes Capitalism to the extent that it is motivated to think "outside the square". Now all we have to do is work out how to divert all that creative energy to useful and humane purposes.

BREAKING NEWS: The CIA has launched a successful takeover bid for Asylum Airlines. It has vowed to use the aircraft to "hunt down, maim and kill all them criminal illegals", according to "The O'Really Factor" program on Fahks TV Nooze. "We don't want them non-human scum eatin' all our Dunkin' Donuts!" ranted Mr O'Really. "We'll stop at NUTHIN' ", he dribbled.

No comments:

Post a Comment