03 March, 2007

War of the Words: Postmodernism meets its nemesis in GENRE-MAN

PostmodernMan is confronted by Genre-Man
at the Gotham University staffroom.


At Gotham University campus, literary chaos reigns. Evil Postmodernists are openly roaming the corridors, perpetrating Fear of Form into the hearts of unwilling academics and defenceless students.

These extremist artistic jihadists, believed to have secret training camps at Deakin University, are wantonly seeking to destroy Form, Purpose, and Narrative, callously replacing them with Open-endedness, Chance, Dislocation and Deconstruction. Will this mean the end of the Artwork as we know it? Will we all be subjected to artistic terrorism in the formlessness of ‘Process’ rather than our comfort zone of ‘Product’? Law-abiding Citizens fear the undemocratic imposition of Randomness and Intertextuality, with their violently passive tactics of Antithesis, Absences, and the disorientation of constant mutation.

Opposition groups like Citizens for Certainty have been fighting these brazen insurgents by offering discounted subscriptions to Symphony concerts, holding Exhibitions of the Great Masterworks of Art, and organising Book-launches of Novels (all, of course, with with clear linear plots and proper Character Development).

But nevertheless, our citizens' glorious struggle is being inexorably defeated by suicide-writer attacks! How shall our Forces of Good overcome these dastardly Postmodernist traitors? These malevolent marauders lurk in shadows, identifying themselves only with their Anaerobic Abscences and Artistic Anarchies. It's s difficult to identify this slippery foe, let alone come to grips with them/him/her/it.

But look! Salvation is at hand! GENRE-MAN suddenly re-appears in the western sky, fountain-pen-in-hand, zooming in with a Pre-Emptive Invasion of Metaphysics, Causality, Hierarchy and …the most Golden Fleece of all… INTENTIONAL DESIGN !!


..Zap ! OOF! POW ! uugh! h...

............................................................................................................................................................. Thank goodness for Genre-man! Now we can restore Order, Conviction, Firmness and beloved Synthesis to their rightful places in the ordained Creative Firmament. We are Saved, Sanctified at last, de-mystified, re-ordered, snatched mercifully from the Jumbled Jaws of Artistic Decay. ONWARDS TOWARDS ENLIGHTENMENT!


(These charming aesthetic-proof anti-postmodernist SNEAKERS are
available through FunkyPix2's "Thoroughly Modernist Millie" web-store!)


Some students of Old Modernism have begun posing their guard dogs as superheroes to discourage influence by corrupt Postmodern infidels.

Fine Arts lecturers: to estimate your true academic erudition, here's an online quiz entitled "True Art… or fake?" Warning: this test should not be taken by persons with a fragile artistic ego or in the presence of undergraduate fine arts students. Contains carbs.

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