07 November, 2007

The Parable of the Good Australian:
John Howard as Failed Messiah

And Lo! There was a Shepherd in the Desert, tending his flock of Sheep and Lambs. The Shepherd could sell much Wool from the backs of the Sheep, so he offered unto them most of the best Water and Pasture, and they did thrive mightily.
The Lambs were small, so could not provide as much Wool as the Sheep. The Shepherd therefore offered unto them only Dry and Barren Desert, because they were less profitable than the Sheep. Thus did many tender young Lambs wither under the scorching sun of Mortgages and GST.
As eleven long years passed, the productive Sheep became grey and began to die of old age. The Shepherd then looked to his Lambs to render Wool unto him, but Alas! they were unable. And verily, the Economy spiralled into long-term Recession.

And lo! it came to pass that starving Lambs deserted the Shepherd in droves, even as the remaining wealthy old Sheep toured Australia in their freehold Winnebago 4WDs, reaping rich pickings from their bulging portfolios and not caring a hoot about GST. With such unholy Economic Growth came rampant Inflation, and the very Heavens were rent asunder by Bolts of Electoral Lightning hurled down from the Reserve Bank. Then among the down-trodden of the sacrificial Lambs there were Whisperings of Revolt, and sagging Worms of Discontent. Presently it came about that the Old Shepherd was slain and replaced by a New National CEO who, in turn, was also to rely on the Resources Boom, and never questioned Howard's beloved GST.

Hey, enough of this silly bible-speak. (Religion is not irrelevant, though, as both Howard and Rudd are desperate enough for votes that they have sucked up to religious factions in the same superficial way as American politicians do).


In this next pic, Ducklips Howard, AlexanDUH Downer and Tony 'The Priest' Abbott all appear sexy and cool during a fake workout, following the image-makeover example set by Mr Ras Putin:

...................................... [excuse me while I puke…]

........ (…....or are the rings simply failed attempts at multiple halos?)

Howard's basic Tory creed is that of Globalization, the latest form of Colonialism, whose unspoken motto is It’s OK for the Rich to get richer at the expense of the Poor. The apathy of the Austrayan voter to this growing inequality can be attributed to the persistence of the negative (and mostly false) "dole bludger" mythology, with its historical roots in the propaganda of the Protestant Work Ethic. Therefore neither of the major political parties sees potential votes in re-distributing wealth to support the needs of the Poor or minority groups. Ladies and Jellybeans of the Jury, I would like to announce the death of Leftist Compassion in Straya.


However, beware the Achilles Heel. Australia’s leaders ignore the needs of poorer people at the country's peril. A large proportion of these poorer people are young. If the core needs (including Education) of Australia's young Lambs continue to be marginalized, the future of the entire flock will be put at risk in the longer term. Howard's short-term thinking is dangerous and irresponsible, yet that’s the typical Conservative anally-retentive mind-set, partly imposed by three-year parliamentary terms, annual company statements, budgeting horizons, etc. Democracy does have its inherent disadvantages, of which Climate Change is likely to become an unfortunate victim. We have to look to the minor parties - Greens, Democrats, Independents - to find any remaining traces of Human Compassion, Good Samaritanism, and longer-term vision.

Howard’s right wing ideologies strongly favour the older Sheep Establishment – the Wealthy-through-inheritance, Baby-Boomers who had the sense to be born in an earlier time, investors in stockmarkets, the upper middle-class, etc. Company tax laws help to ensure that these already-fat Sheep continue to get the biggest possible patch of pasture.

On the other side of the coin, Howard’s draconian WorkChoices laws (boo hiss) ensure that the impoverished working-class employees – Lambs to the slaughter – get as small a patch as possible, frequently so small that both husband and wife have to get jobs (No wonder there are so few baby lambs these days… even with the taxpayers’ donation of $4133 for each birth).


Why not sign this important Anti-WorkChoices PETITION to tell Howard you object to his regressive legislation. You can add a personalized message if u wish. (GetUp.org; opens in a new window).

....................... Lambs of the World Unite!
............ You have nothing to lose but your Jeans!

We citizens insist on the democratic right to stand up for a fair workplace and appropriate pay (which, in case you hadn't thought about it, Mr Jerk Hockey, should hopefully amount to enough to cover both food AND rent for the average family). Poor people can only take so much workplace abuse, then we fight back. Slavery has been abolished before, but what-the-hell, we can do it all again. Even a Dove will eventually peck back in frustration.


Click here to get details of an anti-WorkChoices protest by GetUp outside Joe Hockey’s Sydney electoral office this weekend.

The new un-Liberal party spokesman, Mr Rubicube Hed. The task for the confused Voter is to pick which one of the mouthes is making the non-core promises. Check out this Pork-O-Meter - it keeps you up to date with Labor and un-Liberal spending Promises and Totals in the Australian Election Comedy Show. Have your sound turned up, too.

(See more amazing photos about Brigadier-General Howard's pre-emptive invasion of his own country, about the deceit of his weak suckhole mate Mal B. Rough, and about Howard's campaign of deliberate Racist hatred which he malevolently imagines is a vote-winner. Not in MY name, Mr Ducklips)

To coin a phrase… “It must be well and bloody truly Time by now!”

01 November, 2007

John Howard, Bennelong, Climate Change, Kyoto, and the price of eggs

The Australian public is waking up to John Ducklips Howard. Tossing him out of office would be justified on the Climate Change issue alone. Hey, Australians don’t live in an “Economy”, we live in a country, and breathe the same air as other countries. Look, MISTER Howard, we breathe and we vote. In the interests of continuing to be able to breathe, FunkyPix2 is publishing a short photo-essay about Climate Change/Global Warming.

The Australian Federal Election, normally relatively unimportant on the world stage, is this time going to be vital to the direction of the world on the issue of Climate Change. Bush must be slapped, and slapped hard to shame him. What better way than for his rogue pariah lapdog (yes, Australia) to turn on him? Hopefully, 2008 may be a turning point if Australia ratifies Kyoto.

Recognising that History is the sum of individual actions, you can also personally put pressure on the US Congress by signing this Online PETITION. Changing America's stance is the only possible way to force Howard's hand. And remember that Rudd is not yet PM.
The petition opens in a new window for your convenience, so you can close it when you've signed and be right back on this page).
If Global WARMING is Dr. Jekyll, Global DIMMING is Mr Hyde. Global Dimming is like the kind old nurse who is later revealed to be a serial murderer. She quietly feeds her 'patients' palliative medecines so that they won't suffer pain from their disease... However, they're not so grateful later when they discover the palliatives have merely been disguising their illnesses, thus speeding their demise.

Global Dimming, likewise, disguises the planetary disease of Global Warming. It means that Global Warming is actually worse than scientists calculated:

Didn't know about Global Dimming? Read here or here, or (best of all) watch this disturbing BBC documentary on Youtube.

Be very afraid, John Ducklips Howard ...if you care at all:

...........Because we care about our children's future. Simple.

So here are more of my funky pix 4u2c… help spread 'em round the internet to punish Howard’s anally-retentive power-hungry addiction:
(right-click the photo and select "Save Picture As...")

…but fear not, FunkyPix2’s famous Online Catalogue can supply suitable footwear if you need some in a hurry:

Here in Thailand, for instance, Wat Jampalor (at Anthong) is already regularly awash at high tide. Also see this scary/amazing interactive NASA flood-map for the Bangkok region.


Capitalism , and its latest mutant robot (the Globalisation Monster), are mostly deaf to long-term issues like Climate Change. Their selfish strategies are limited to short-term goals: this year’s inflation figures, this quarter’s profit/loss statement, and never beyond the close horizon of the next election.

......... (Get more funky pix about APEC in Fortress Sydney here.)

This photo of a solar flare from the sun serves as a reminder that we’re very small players in the game of survival. The next cartoon shows some even smaller players:

FunkyPix2 has published other articles on Global Warming:

* Do you live in Sydney? Will your street flood when sea levels rise? Check
here with this NASA-Google satellite map.

* Dinosaur Howard fears job figures more than extinction of the human species.

* ...or conjure up ALL my posts about ENVIRONMENT here. Most are directly relevant to Australian issues.


Cartoon time for grown-ups! Laugh at John Howard's dismal week in these four flash animations by Peter Nicholson of The Australian newspaper. First comes Howard's oh-so-convenient eleventh hour conversion on the Road to Damascus, then you'll be astonished at what Howard finds under his bed in the morning ...and what does the Dalai Lama have to say to both Rudd and Howard?
Finally, Paul Keating is again the un-biased race-caller for the adrenalin-pumping pre-election
Melbourne Cup. Who will win most efficiently?

06 October, 2007

Attention supporters of Maxine McKew in BENNELONG: more photos 4u2c

Like the legendary BARON MUNCHAUSEN who specialized in telling tall tales, the long-nosed John Dubya Ducklips Howard continues his sneaky lies to the Australian public. Let's all ensure that he gets booted out of Kirribilli and packed off to a glue factory. Australia's damaged enough already.

The Liberal Party's tough-sounding Right-wing scare-tactics and soft-sell TV propaganda is confusing for politically less-than-savvy citizens. Left-wing, right-wing... ...jeez mate, it all gets "too bloody hard". For that very reason, propaganda spin-merchants specifically target these politically-naive folks, just like the legendary Shearer targeted the Ringer (the 'new guy') with the "Blue-Bellied Joe" (a sheep easier to shear). They wouldn't waste their time or corporate slush-funds on diehards like me. By the way, here's an ONLINE PETITION (from GetUp.org, in a new window) to sign objecting to the multi-millions of public tax money that Howard is squandering on pre-electioneering for the un-Liberal Party.

So to assist your personal War on J.W.Howard, I'm offering another of my photo galleries (below). If you like any of the pictures, please feel free to copy them and circulate as widely as possible on the net, especially to your contacts living in marginal electorates. There are more of my photos here and here, or you can conjure up the whole dang lot here.

(To copy a photo to your computer, right-click it and select Save Picture As...)


(More on John Ducklips Howard's policy of adjusting History in this article on his War on Edjerkation).

P.S: Sign this online PETITION to help say SORRY. It's the first step towards Aboriginal Reconciliation (GetUp.org, in a new window).


Australian is re-confirming itself as a racist nation in the run-up to the election, say reports from agencies such as the International Herald Tribune and Reuters. Why is that so, Kevin Andrews?
. (Hey, why does the Right need Hanson when they've got Kevin Andrews?)


............................ (See more on Smart Alec here ).

Are you a swinging voter?
Vote-a-matic is a simple 10-minute interactive quiz which works out which party you should vote for. Ideal for lazy voters and the politically-challenged. The leader of the winning party then congratulates you in a short video clip. You can also hear the other leaders if you click on them - I particularly enjoyed hearing John Howard tell me "I know you didn't vote for me, but..."

Giggle time again!
Here are two more flash animations from Nicholson of The Australian. The first one deals in a fair and balanced way with the
echo campaign of the Australian Election.
The second one,
Paul Keating as the race-caller
, is (as you might expect), bigoted, egotistical and unbalanced.
A healthy balance, methinks.